EVE OF DESTRUCTION!
- Ya know, Eve's not half bad!
- Nope, she's ALL bad!*The scene began at a local Texas news station studio known as WFAA-TV. A perky brunette sat behind a desk with a EBWF logo displayed on a monitor behind her. To the right of her sat a decently built anchor in a nice suit with a powerful chin and perfectly combed hair.*
Female Anchor: Welcome back to WFAA-TV where we are joined by a pair of special guests. They will be a part of the long running Warfare program coming to the American Airlines Center Monday Night. They are EBWF Women's Champion Maryse and Paige!
*The camera panned over to the aforementioned Diva's as they sat on the opposite side of the news casters. They both had dull expressions on their faces while Maryse drummed her fingers along the surface of the table in front of her. The Champion was wearing a form fitting, sleek green dress and had her golden title displayed in front of her. Paige was dressed in a black colored dress with grey ribbons tied around various parts of it and a blue ribbon on top of her hat. Her skele-cat plush sat slumped in front of her.*
Maryse: You know, if I do this..
*Maryse held up her middle finger to the camera but her hand was turned so it faced herself.*
Maryse: It won't get blurred out. But if I do this..
*She turned her hand in the correction direction and the offensive gesture was quickly blurred.*
Maryse: ..that happens.
*The blonde waved her hand around in circular motion to watch the blur that it created.*
Paige: Well, if I say "fanny" in this country nothing happens. But if I say it's U.S. equivalent which is [BLEEP]
*The raven haired diva's mouth was blurred*
Paige: That happens.
*The two news casters gave each other nervous looks and forced smiles*
Male Anchor: Alright, well, they certainly do have larger than life personalities, don't they?
*The pair conversed as if they weren't on camera and as if the anchor's weren't speaking to them. Maryse sighed heavily.*
Maryse: I thought Paul was going to get us on The View.
Paige: I know, right? This place is filthy, dark and moist. Like you on a full moon.
Maryse: Ugh, shut up, you know how much I hate the word "moist"!
Female Anchor: Y-You just recently won the Women's Title, isn't that correct, Maryse?
*Paige and Maryse very slowly turned their heads towards the reporter as they eyes slowly began to glare deeply as if she had just interrupted something terribly important.*
Maryse: Oh. Yeah. Mutha fu-[BLEEP]in stuff was mutha fu-[BLEEP]in easy. ..Oh. There go those blurs again.
Male Anchor: A-And Paige you come from a very extensive wrestling background, correct?
Paige: Mom's a wrestler, Dad's a wrestler, both of my brothers are wrestlers. I'm the only one who has ever done anything on big national TV and I'm only twenty so I guess you can easily say that I'm the one with the talent. They've been calling me for money and contract opportunities or whatever but they're the reasons I dress like I'm going to a funeral twenty four seven so they can starve.
Maryse: Bitch has got issues. Ha! Look! I said that so fast that the censors didn't get it!
*The anchor's tried to remain professional and not go off script but they were finding it to be a difficult task.*
Male Anchor: For twenty years old you are in remarkable shape.
Maryse: If you're hitting on her you should know that she's into bondage.
Paige: I'm naturally beautiful and fit. I'm the reasons tweens make themselves throw up.
*She had that in an oddly proud and perky kind of way.*
Female Anchor: And at Warfare you will be competing against Eve who is probably best known for her time in the WWE.
Paige: She was a dancer or a model like every single other woman who becomes a wrestler nowadays.
Maryse: I was a model but I was in classy magazines like Playboy. Not Spunk-Weekly like Eve.
Paige: And she knows Jiu-Jitsu but like Maryse said earlier, I'm into bondage and asphyxiophilia so there is no way I would ever tap out. I had a guy put some of those MMA moves on me before and I fell asleep halfway through so it I need more modern torture devices in order to put any kind of strain on me.
*The two anchors looked at one another with wide eyes while the show's directors were probably having a conniption behind the scenes.*
Paige: Besides, I don't think Eve is even interested in wrestling. I think she wants to be someone's secretary and try to pull off that "sexy librarian" look.
Maryse: Which is NOT working for her, by the way.
Paige: So I imagine I'm just going to go out there and smash her face a few times and be done with it. I'm sure SOMEONE in our company needs a Jiu-Jitsu librarian who looks like she just went three rounds with Chris Brown to..organize files for them or something.
*Paige sighed wistfully and shrugged dismissively*
Paige: And when I'm finished committing unspeakable acts of violence against Eve I'm going to win The Sky High Title and make it so much more impressive than Maryse's plonker of a title.
Maryse: What did you call my title?! It's not a plinko or whatever racial slur you just used! I'm gettin' ice up all in it and it's going to look fancy as hell.
Paige: I don't mean how pretty it looks. I mean it's going to be highly sought after and desired because I'm going to be such an amazing champion that it's stock is going to rise through the roof.
*Maryse stared blankly for a moment before rolling her eyes.*
Maryse: Pffft. Mine is still going to have diamonds on it so it's going to be better no matter what you do. And why don't you try getting past Eve first before you make threats to the Queen, alright Twilight?
Paige: Oh I'll get through her alright. Way easier than you got through A.J. Whore.
Maryse: Goth bitch.
Paige: Hobknocker.
Male Anchor: A-Alright, ladies, we can't let you use that kind of language. ..Even though I'm not sure what that last one meant.
*Maryse started to glare again before her expression slowly softened.*
Maryse: ..You kind of look like Ryan Gosling.
Female Anchor: T-Thank you both for showing up! Warfare in Texas Monday night! Watch Paige take on Eve! I-I'm sure it will be very entertaining!
*Maryse had begun to seductively crawl her way across the table and towards the anchor*
Maryse: How big is your--
*The feed quickly cut to a station logo and a loud, high pitched beeping sound. When the feed returned, Paige had taken the place of the weather man and stood in front of a green screen with a radar system showing the weather for the evening.*
Paige: And if you look around here on Monday Night..
*She motioned with her hand*
Paige: You will see a big incoming storm of my fist crashing all of Eve's face. Those effects will linger all into next week where you might find a few of her teeth if you are lucky enough. They would probably fetch at least a few hundred on EBAY. And this whole area right around here..
*Paige turned to the screen and spread her arms out*
Paige: ..is going to be all of her hopes and aspirations that I'm going to walk over. Giving way to sunshine and clear skies.
*A big, smiling, cheerful sun wiggled it's way onto the map.*
Paige: This has been Paige with your five day foreca--
*Paige was cut off as the green screen fell over. Maryse was on top of the male news caster from earlier. Everything was one enormous blur but a lot of moaning could be heard.*
Director: NO, NO, NO! CUT THE FEED! CUT THE FEED!
*The station's logo returned with a "Experincing Technical Difficulties" image plastered over it.*