Woodpecker's From Mars
Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 1:41 pm
~Kaitlyn sighed. The camera revealed the two toned blonde standing backstage with The Coach just to the side of her. She had SUCH a wonderful promo in mind in which she would talk about how important it was for her to win the Sky High Title. ~
The Coach: ...Uh...
~Coachman was very confused. This was because A.J. Lee was crouched behind the camera man, holding a stack of cue cards. Kaitlyn sighed again before explaining~
Kaitlyn: I lost a bet with her and now she's scripting my promo.
The Coach: What did you bet on?
Kaitlyn: Rock-paper-scissors. That comes with a lot of honor around these arts, Coach.
The Coach: I understand. ...I think? Ready to begin?
Kaitlyn: Ready as I'll ever be...
~Kaitlyn gave a weary look towards A.J. who simply flashed a pair of thumbs up and grinned.~
The Coach: Kaitlyn, as one half of The Chick Busters, your partner A.J. has held gold as the Women's Champion. You now have your chance as you face Melina, Brooke Tessmacher and Sky High Champion Maria.
~Kaitlyn squinted and looked forward towards the sign A.J. was holding.~
Kaitlyn: Me am strong. Me am strong girl. I'm'a gonna rip their heads off like Zangief, totes fo sho'. Flexes menacingly.
A.J. Lee: You were supposed to do that not say it!
Kaitlyn: And you're supposed to have a brain and yet somehow you are still able to move around and talk without one.
~A.J. gave a sour look to her partner before hastily scribbling something down on one of the cue cards. She held it above her head.~
Kaitlyn: ...A.J. has a brain. She has a lot of brains and she is so smart that she makes Einstein look like a third grade drop-out.
~A.J. clapped cheerfully.~
The Coach: Who do you feel is your biggest threat in this match? It's fatal four way and you don't even have to pin the champion in order to win the gold.
Kaitlyn: ...What does that have to do with the question?!
~Kaitlyn motioned towards the sign A.J. was holding up.~
A.J. Lee: AHEM. Sacred honor of rock-paper-scissors.
Kaitlyn: ...Shake yo' ass. Watch yo' self. Shake yo' ass. SHOWMEWHATCHAWORKINWITH.
A.J. Lee: Somehow missing the grandiose tones of Mystikal's voice.
The Coach: ...The...question?
~A.J. hastily scribbled something down.~
Kaitlyn: None of them are a threat because they are no match for my Super Ultra Mambo-Tango-Foxtrot Martial Arts.
The Coach: Not even current champion Maria?
~Kaitlyn continued to read whatever A.J. was holding up on her signs.~
Kaitlyn: I have some advice for Maria. Stay in school and use your brain. Be a doctor, be a lawyer, carry a leather briefcase. Forget about sports as a profession. Sports make ya grunt and smell. See, be a thinker, not a stinker. ...You just completely stole that from Rocky.
A.J. Lee: Apollo Creed had a lot of wisdom. Before Ivan Drago killed him.
The Coach: What about Melina? She had a very impressive victory over Jamilia Craft in her Warfare debut.
Kaitlyn: What is Melina? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk...have at you! ...Wha?
A.J. Lee: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.
Kaitlyn: NERD. HUGE NERD.
~A.J. made a face that more than likely looked like ' >=( ' before jotting down a new sign. Kaitlyn scowled and grumbled.~
Kaitlyn: ...My mom still changes my diapers.
A.J. Lee: BAHAHA!
The Coach: And Brooke Tessmacher? She's one of the hungrier Diva's in the division and surely would love to prove herself by becoming champion.
Kaitlyn: In the world of wrestling Brooke Tessmacher is a Fluttershy. And Fluttershy's are weak and get pushed around. She will surely quake in terror at my monstrous strength. ...A.J., you know Fluttershy is my favorite pony. Not cool.
A.J. Lee: RAINBOW DASH OR GTFO.
The Coach: And what are your plans if you win the title?
Kaitlyn: My plan is to soar to every inch of the universe and defend that title against any and all challengers from the furthest reaches of the Galaxy. I will take on any and all alien races. THIS WORLD IS NOT PREPARED FOR THE VIOLENCE I WILL BRING TO IT. I AM ALL THAT IS WOMAN. ...Is this interview over now?
The Coach: I believe that just about covers it.
Kaitlyn: Come here, A.J.
~Kaitlyn began to stalk towards her friend who hurriedly whipped up more signs like *DOES NOT HURT A.J.*, *LETS A.J. LIVE*, *DOES NOT BREAK A.J. IN HALF~
Kaitlyn: Interview's over! I don't have to listen to those cards anymore!
~A.J. threw the cards into the air in a panic and took off down the hallway with Kaitlyn in fast pursuit.~
The Coach: ...Uh...
~Coachman was very confused. This was because A.J. Lee was crouched behind the camera man, holding a stack of cue cards. Kaitlyn sighed again before explaining~
Kaitlyn: I lost a bet with her and now she's scripting my promo.
The Coach: What did you bet on?
Kaitlyn: Rock-paper-scissors. That comes with a lot of honor around these arts, Coach.
The Coach: I understand. ...I think? Ready to begin?
Kaitlyn: Ready as I'll ever be...
~Kaitlyn gave a weary look towards A.J. who simply flashed a pair of thumbs up and grinned.~
The Coach: Kaitlyn, as one half of The Chick Busters, your partner A.J. has held gold as the Women's Champion. You now have your chance as you face Melina, Brooke Tessmacher and Sky High Champion Maria.
~Kaitlyn squinted and looked forward towards the sign A.J. was holding.~
Kaitlyn: Me am strong. Me am strong girl. I'm'a gonna rip their heads off like Zangief, totes fo sho'. Flexes menacingly.
A.J. Lee: You were supposed to do that not say it!
Kaitlyn: And you're supposed to have a brain and yet somehow you are still able to move around and talk without one.
~A.J. gave a sour look to her partner before hastily scribbling something down on one of the cue cards. She held it above her head.~
Kaitlyn: ...A.J. has a brain. She has a lot of brains and she is so smart that she makes Einstein look like a third grade drop-out.
~A.J. clapped cheerfully.~
The Coach: Who do you feel is your biggest threat in this match? It's fatal four way and you don't even have to pin the champion in order to win the gold.
Kaitlyn: ...What does that have to do with the question?!
~Kaitlyn motioned towards the sign A.J. was holding up.~
A.J. Lee: AHEM. Sacred honor of rock-paper-scissors.
Kaitlyn: ...Shake yo' ass. Watch yo' self. Shake yo' ass. SHOWMEWHATCHAWORKINWITH.
A.J. Lee: Somehow missing the grandiose tones of Mystikal's voice.
The Coach: ...The...question?
~A.J. hastily scribbled something down.~
Kaitlyn: None of them are a threat because they are no match for my Super Ultra Mambo-Tango-Foxtrot Martial Arts.
The Coach: Not even current champion Maria?
~Kaitlyn continued to read whatever A.J. was holding up on her signs.~
Kaitlyn: I have some advice for Maria. Stay in school and use your brain. Be a doctor, be a lawyer, carry a leather briefcase. Forget about sports as a profession. Sports make ya grunt and smell. See, be a thinker, not a stinker. ...You just completely stole that from Rocky.
A.J. Lee: Apollo Creed had a lot of wisdom. Before Ivan Drago killed him.
The Coach: What about Melina? She had a very impressive victory over Jamilia Craft in her Warfare debut.
Kaitlyn: What is Melina? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk...have at you! ...Wha?
A.J. Lee: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.
Kaitlyn: NERD. HUGE NERD.
~A.J. made a face that more than likely looked like ' >=( ' before jotting down a new sign. Kaitlyn scowled and grumbled.~
Kaitlyn: ...My mom still changes my diapers.
A.J. Lee: BAHAHA!
The Coach: And Brooke Tessmacher? She's one of the hungrier Diva's in the division and surely would love to prove herself by becoming champion.
Kaitlyn: In the world of wrestling Brooke Tessmacher is a Fluttershy. And Fluttershy's are weak and get pushed around. She will surely quake in terror at my monstrous strength. ...A.J., you know Fluttershy is my favorite pony. Not cool.
A.J. Lee: RAINBOW DASH OR GTFO.
The Coach: And what are your plans if you win the title?
Kaitlyn: My plan is to soar to every inch of the universe and defend that title against any and all challengers from the furthest reaches of the Galaxy. I will take on any and all alien races. THIS WORLD IS NOT PREPARED FOR THE VIOLENCE I WILL BRING TO IT. I AM ALL THAT IS WOMAN. ...Is this interview over now?
The Coach: I believe that just about covers it.
Kaitlyn: Come here, A.J.
~Kaitlyn began to stalk towards her friend who hurriedly whipped up more signs like *DOES NOT HURT A.J.*, *LETS A.J. LIVE*, *DOES NOT BREAK A.J. IN HALF~
Kaitlyn: Interview's over! I don't have to listen to those cards anymore!
~A.J. threw the cards into the air in a panic and took off down the hallway with Kaitlyn in fast pursuit.~