Jewels

[Cory]

The camera opened up on Randy Orton, inside the empty Target Center in Minneapolis. He was outside the ring, leaned up against the corner of it. The Gateway Championship was draped over his shoulder, and the Tag Team Championship around his waist. He carried the most confident smirk in the history of mankind.

Randy Orton: Years from now, when the EBWF is long gone because Wes Ikeda and his entire ridiculous family decide to live in space, historians of the industry of professional wrestling will be responsible for telling the story of this company.

He pointed at himself with the free hand not steadying his title belt.

Randy Orton: Chapter One will be named Randy Orton. Why, do you ask? Because the story of this company cannot be told without the story of the most talented, most profitable, most relevant talent in the history of its existence. Me. Current Gateway and Tag Team Champion. Longest Reigning World Champion in company history. Best abs in the business. I could go on for hours, because I have so many accolades that reeling them off right now would be akin to waterboarding. But enough about me. Let's talk about the weird English guy that named himself after a Political Action Committee.

Randy contemplatively scratched the stubble on his chin for a moment, looking deep in thought.

Randy Orton: Actually you know what, let's talk a little bit more about me.

He shrugged.

Randy Orton: You'll live. I'm great. See the thing is, I've been wrestling for a very long time. I got started at such a young age that the people that came up around me have all mostly retired and I'm still in the prime years of my career, despite what aging reality b-list celebs want to tell you. I have forgotten more about this business than a guy like Pac will ever know, and I still am faster, stronger, and more physically gifted in every way. In short, I've got more experience AND I've got the physical advantage that typically comes with being a younger guy. But, good ole Pac says he has a trick up his sleeve. He's going to kick me in the nuts.

Randy shook his head.

Randy Orton: How do you prepare for a guy that's going to kick you in the nuts?! Just... how do you do it? There's no getting around it. I'm going to tell you something that I 100% believe to be true: I am in for the fight of my life tonight. In this very ring later tonight, I am going to be wrestling the highest stakes match in EBWF history. My pride, my notoriety, and apparently my balls are all on the line in this bout of the ages. This match represents more than Randy Orton vs The Miz #9715 ever could. This is personal. And tonight Pac, I am going to prove to you that I've got what it takes to give you an RKO even with an injured arm.

Randy's grim demeanor cracked into a sly grin.

Randy Orton: Or... maybe you're just another guy that's going to be irrelevant in a week after facing me. I know which one I'm betting on. Spoiler alert: You're not going to like it.

Randy shrugged and walked off, leaving the camera focusing on the empty ring. The scene flashed an EBWF logo and faded to black.