The Faux Women's Champion

[Sam L]

The scene opened up within the backstage area of the TD Garden, where we soon find one of EBWF's newest acquisitions, Tam Nakano, greeting the camera with a beaming smile.

Tam Nakano: On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a debut match to end in victory! Kon'nichiwa EBWF Universe! Allow me to take the time to thank all of you for the tremendous support you guys have given P-Chan and I since our debut last week - it really means a lot. But what made it even more special was going out there and getting to put on a great match, with a former EBWF Women's Champion no less! Alexa put up a big fight on Warfare and definitely took me to my limit, but I guess in the end? The better woman won!

P-Chan: Objection!

Tam reached behind herself before pulling out her furry friend and partner-in-crime, P-Chan.

P-Chan: Alexa put up a big fight? She took you to your limit!? What a load of crap! You kicked her butt all across the ring out there, just like I said you would do the entire time! But this week there won't be any room for downplaying yourself, so you better get your act together quickly.

Tam Nakano: Really? Why?

P-Chan: Because this week? You're facing The Man.

A quiet gasp escaped Tam's lips with a look of horror sprawled across her face.

Tam Nakano: I'm facing a m-m-man!?

P-Chan: No, you cute little idiot! You're not facing a man. You're facing The Man, Becky Lynch.

Tam Nakano: Ohhhh, you mean the girl who thinks she's the EBWF Women's Champion even though she clearly lost to Trish Stratus at SummerSlam, and then that witch who follows her around somehow convinced her that she's the real Women's Champion, except she isn't, and now she carries around a fake championship and pretends-

P-Chan: Yes, yes! Her! If Becky wants to be "The Man", then I say go for it! It's 2020, and we'll all support you! But one thing Becky undeniably isn't is a champion. If ya' ask me? I blame that witch, Winter! She's been filling Becky's head with fantasies and delusions for too long, and tonight we're gonna make them see sense.

Tam Nakano: Oh my gosh, that sounds awful! We should really help Becky out, P-Chan. Perhaps if we throw a glass of water over Winter, she'll melt right on the spot!

P-Chan: Help her out? You're gonna go out there and beat her up! Becky is far beyond saving now, just like Old Yeller. The best we can do is put her out of her misery.

Tam's jaw dropped, glancing at the camera briefly before scowling at the panda.

Tam Nakano: P-Chan... you're not suggesting that we... you know...

P-Chan: What!? Of course not! I'm too cute to go to prison! You're gonna go out there and you're gonna kick Becky's head clean off her shoulders. And if that hag of hers even thinks of getting involved tonight? Then I'll be sure to unleash some Kung-Fu Panda right here in Boston. HIIIIIE-YAH!

With a roll of her eyes, Tam took her leave, taking P-Chan with her as the scene came to a finish.