The camera rushed through a thick wooded area as extended hands brushed aside high grass and branches. Deep ragged breaths pierced the sound of ruffled leaves and snapping twigs. The camera stopped and panned around in a quick arc. In the distance a tuft of grass ruffled and sent the camera wheeling back around into a sprint. The trees began to thin out. Suddenly the camera emerged into a clearing, the next tree line was a good way in the distance. Something emerged from the tree line to the right, the camera bolted to look at it. Jungle Boy was glaring at the camera a few dozen feet away. He lowered his head into a sprint. The camera turned, lurched forward, and collapsed to the ground. It bounced with a sickening thud.

Jungle Boy (off screen): I think you’re getting faster.

Jungle Boy knelt in front of the camera with a wide smile on his face. He lifted it up off the ground and peered into it.

Jungle Boy: You might even outrun me if you didn’t insist on carrying this archaic piece of junk!

Paul London (off screen): It’s important that we’re able to monitor your progress through your training.

Jungle Boy: Is this some Miyadi or Yoga thing?

Paul London (off screen): What is a Miyadi? And Yoga? Yoga is all sitting still and posing, only the heels do that stuff.

Jungle Boy set the camera up and turned it to face he and Paul. He jostled it around to get a good angle.

Jungle Boy: Yoga, that little green thing from the Star Wars.

Paul London: Oh, Yoda! No, this isn’t like that. Firstly, you’re not carrying me around on your back. Secondly, I’m not insane!

Jungle Boy: I think the tribal council is still out on that one.

Paul London: Oh…. Kay. Miyadi? Explain that one.

Jungle Boy: PAINT THE FENCE!

Paul London: I see what you’ve done. You mixed up some of the consonants. Yoda and Miyagi. I’m not short, I don’t do karate and I’m not from Okinawa.

Jungle Boy: Can we at least try jumping from one rock to another? “This rock represents my home!”

Paul took out a non-copyright infringing tablet style data pad. He clicked on the screen several times.

Paul London: We don’t have time for that JB! We’ve got to get back to Earth, you’ve got to compete in a Championship Tournament!

Jungle Boy: Which Championship?

Paul London: I can’t be certain, there seems to be an issue with the timestream. The London-o-matic keeps alternating between Breakout and Gateway Championships. When we arrive, I will have the Dinosaur and the Alien look into fixing whatever is causing the issues.

Jungle Boy: Has there been an error like this before?

Paul London: Nope! Interesting huh?

Jungle Boy: Does the machine know anything for certain?

Paul London: Only that you’re going to beat Cameron Grimes in the first round of this strange anomalous tournament.

Jungle Boy: If I’m already fated to win, why are we doing all this training?

Paul London: That’s not how fate and futures work my wild pal.

Jungle Boy: When we’re done can we go visit JB-09?

Paul London: He’s a very busy man at that point in the time stream, but I’m certain he will make time for us. ON ONE CONDITION!

Jungle Boy: What do I need to do?

Paul London: Promo!

Jungle Boy: No, I hate those! Please, anything else! I can clean the Dinosaur cages for a month!

Paul London: We live in a time machine, who even knows what a month is anymore? NOPE! You’re going to have to cut a promo if you want to go see President JB. And, it has to be a promo with words, you can’t just pull a Hardcore Holly and beat people up the entire time!

Jungle Boy: Fine!

The camera faded to black. White letters appeared on the screen. “Present Day”. The camera faded up on Jungle Boy in his wrestling gear standing in a wrestling ring set up in the center of a nearly empty arena. The crew was busy preparing for Warfare and ignored Jungle Boy. He walked to the corner closest to the hard camera and perched on the second rope. He looked out where the crowd would be in a few short hours.

Jungle Boy: My time with Paul has given me a unique view on the passage of time. This arena, devoid of fans, is set to be the location where I battle Cameron Grimes one on one. But that’s already happened and at the same time it is currently happening. Time exists all at once, but we perceive it as a linear construct. Don’t worry, it’s confusing if you haven’t spent all of your life trapsing about it with a wacky crew of unlikely characters. Almost as confusing as this pairing set before me. Cameron Grimes. He doesn’t go on to do great things. His impact on the industry comes near to eclipsing one of the little people brought in to dress up like a real wrestler. It comes close but it never really makes it there. Instead, Cameron Grimes fades into obscurity with the same flourish that he was announced with. POOF!

Jungle Boy fanned his hands out.

Jungle Boy: Which brings us to the issue at hand. Either, management doesn’t have access to the timeline, or they think so little of me that they needed to test me against one of the least memorable wrestlers in all of time and space! Worse even than the dedicated losers on Statlander’s home world! But, I’ve been saddled with this mission and I accept it. Before you know anything is wrong, we will lock the timeline in place and find out which title is on the line! You are welcome!

Jungle Boy hopped down from the corner and walked back to the center of the ring. As he walked away from the camera, it once again faded to black. Paul London’s voice cut through the darkness.

Paul London (off screen): You’re supposed to be the good guy! That means you’re not supposed to talk about their weaknesses. You should be building yourself up, not cutting the other guy down!

Jungle Boy (off screen): But…. That’s hard!

Paul London (off screen): Next time it won’t count!