Smoking Gunn
Posted: Mon May 10, 2021 9:44 am
Austin Gunn
They just announced the bracket for King of the Ring! Ikeda pulled names from a damn baseball cap. You want to talk about someone shooting from the hip. It’s Wes! You should follow his twitter. Anyhow, I skipped over the part where Angelina Love announced the Queen of the Ring and got right to the real meat and potatoes. SPOILER WARNING, we’re both in the running for King of the Ring.
Colten Gunn
What are you going on about over there?
Austin Gunn
THEY ANNOUNCED THE KING OF THE RING BRACKET!
Colten held his hand up respectfully toward the photographer.
Colten Gunn
Can we get a moment? Thank you!
Austin was already making his way toward his brother as the crew started to put down their equipment. Austin hopped up on the trunk of the car and held out his phone. Colten snatched it, looked annoyed and turned it back toward Austin. Austin leaned in close to unlock the phone with his face.
Austin Gunn
So, as I was saying, both of us are in the King of the Ring tournament.
Colten Gunn
I really thought this company was going to start taking us seriously as a tag team. Now they have us in a singles tournament for a shot at the EBWF World Championship? How is that getting us any closer to taking on Edge and Orton?
Austin Gunn
I mean it gets us half of the equation, right?
Colten Gunn
Up side, they put us on opposite sides of the bracket.
Austin Gunn
Pure luck!
Colten Gunn
What are you talking about? This list isn’t curated?
Austin Gunn
Nope! Scroll up to the video and you can watch Ikeda draw the names from a ratty old baseball hat.
Colten Gunn
Well, I guess that keeps it fair. Let’s look at your first round match up.
Austin Gunn
I’m thinking we should focus on your first round!
Colten Gunn
Why is that?
Austin put his hand on Colten’s shoulder and tilted his head.
Austin Gunn
Because, baby brother, your match happens Monday.
Colten Gunn
THIS MONDAY?!?
Austin Gunn
You got it! And….
Colten Gunn
It’s against Bobby Lashley!
Austin Gunn
Man, I wanted to say it! You ready to cut that promo?
Colten Gunn
Yeah, I think we can work with the car and these costumes.
Austin Gunn
Hell yeah! A promo for your match, a commercial for our new shirts. And, we don’t even have to wear shoulder pads with giant spikes.
There was a jump cut in the video. The camera was now set up in the middle of a parking lot facing the run-down concrete wall of an abandoned building. The engine of the Pursuit Special roared in the background as it tore toward the camera. It slid into frame toward the center of the parking lot with the passenger side exposed to the camera. The brakes were locked up, grinding the rubber of the tires into the concrete, and producing a cloud of acrid black smoke. As the car came to a rest the passenger door swung open and Colten Gunn stepped out in his Mad Max styled outfit. He made his way toward the camera, stifling a cough from the smoke.
Colten Gunn
Oooooooo. WHAT A RUSH!!!!
The younger of the Gunn brothers took a knee in front of the camera. He tossed a look over his shoulder to see how the tire smoke was settling. He was trying to hide his smile but failing at every step. He focused himself and locked his gaze on the camera.
Colten Gunn
It seems like we’ve entered the wasteland of talent that is King of the Ring. The lawless land where thirty-two men will compete in a single elimination tournament to determine a number one contender. And it all kicks off this Monday at Warfare! We kick off this brutal eliminator with four first round matches that will drop our numbers down to twenty-eight men. And, I have the pleasure of competing in one of these first four matches.
Colten stood and opened his arms wide.
Colten Gunn
I enter the Thunderdome, not the bullshit screen arena version, for the first time against a self-defined Destroyer. A man so pumped up on his own accolades you would swear he was juicing. He swears that he’s not though. Bobby Lashley and I drew in together on the top left of the bracket. The seat typically reserved for a first seed, that’s me, and a sixteenth seed, that’s Bobby. And, taking a look over the rest of the names on the bracket I think fate has it all worked out!
Colten brought his hands down and pressed them into his pockets. He put his weight on his left leg with a half step forward.
Colten Gunn
You look at this list of names in the west bracket and you see pairs of guys who are going to go to war and destroy one another. And, that’s just the first round of this tournament. Mysterio and Styles, a battle for the ages between two accomplished superstars. Aiden English and Chris Jericho. Those two may just kill one another and leave someone a second-round bye. It’s insane to think of all the carnage that’s going to be lain out before the finals. All the wasted names. The fallen bodies. When you look at it all the disparity between Colten Gunn and Bobby Lashley becomes clear as day.
Colten rocked back onto his right foot and spun to the side. His focus shifted to the car idling in the background but he continued to speak loud enough to be heard.
Colten Gunn
You’re a big guy Bobby. One of the biggest, most muscled up guys in the company if not the entire damn business. You’ve had a lengthy career. You’ve wrestled in just about every company to ever pop up in the United States. I even hear you had some success in other parts of the world. Specifically parts where they couldn’t understand you and so you could get by on physical presence alone. Unfortunately for you and your massive cannons, you’ve drawn a first round against a member of the Gunn Club! And now that I’ve had some time wearing this leather jacket or that leather jacket I’m ready to have one of those shiny leather and gold belts strapped around my waste. I’m ready to be a champion. And, regardless of how big you get. How pumped up you are. How glistening you make yourself before the match. Nothing is going to get you into the second round against the Colt Forty-five. This match is your smoking gun. The sign that what little life you have left in you isn’t at the top of the food chain. There’s a new breed in town and Bobby the town isn’t big enough for the two of us!
Colten swung his entire body around and walked back to the car. As he reached for the door handle the car lurched forward in a sudden burst.
Colten Gunn
I’m not playing this game, let me in the damn car Austin.
As Colten climbed in the car he shot a glance back at the camera and smiled. He was talking but he was too far away to be heard. The shot cut away to a black screen. A red and gold version of the Gunn Club logo came up on the screen. After a moment the video transitioned to shots of Colten and Austin in full Mad Max gear showing off their latest merchandise for the EBWF website. The mini commercial contained references, prices, pictures and most importantly and fifteen percent discount code.