Drive Safe

[D.J]

The King of the Ring tournament was always a forum in the EBWF where truly anything can happen. Last year The Rock reemerged and won the event which led to the first of two EBWF World Title Reigns for the Great One. This year there was already drama and shock as Rey Mysterio Jr. took out former World Champion AJ Styles in round one. So if anyone out there thought that they had a handle on this event, they were sadly mistaken. There was twists and turns in this tournament every single year. EBWF Gateway Champion, The Miz, who famously just became a father no less, would hope that his first round match-up with Paul London, would not be added to the list of surprises.

The scene opened up in the Los Angeles, California home of The Miz. It faded into a Miz TV logo and we were quickly inside the house. The camera panned around until it picked up Miz who was sitting on the couch wearing a white fitted t-shirt and designer black pants. His hair was slicked around and he had a pair of sunglasses tucked into his shirt. He had one of the biggest smiles on his face that any of the EBWF universe had seen in quite sometime. The reason for that smile became clear when Mickie Mizanin made her return to EBWF programming. She was carrying baby Alexis in her arms who was fast asleep. The Miz began the promo in a soft voice as to not disturb his newborn daughter.

The Miz: Mizfits, they said it would never happen, that I would never stop my partying ways- and be able to start a family. They said I was too selfish and that it would ultimately lead to me being extremely unhappy. The they I'm referring to.. was really just my dad.. so dad if you're watching.. I'm a dad too- and YOU WERE WRONG!

Mickie shh'd the Miz at his comedic volume change.

The Miz: In all honesty, I am thrilled for you to all to meet my pride and joy, the absolute light of my life.. little Alexis Rose Mizanin and of course we all have Mickie Mizanin my lovely lovely wife to be thankful for as well.

Mickie answered also whispering.

Mickie Mizanin: Aww babe.

The Miz smiled as Mickie kissed him on the cheek and left the scene. She waved Alexis, tiny arm, as if to say goodbye to the fans watching this vlog. Miz watched them both leave the room he had a soft smile on his face clearly so in love with both gals. He then turned back to the camera and the smile quickly faded into a serious look.

The Miz: Now then.. back to business. My name is Mike Mizanin- I've said it before and I'll say it again- you can call me The Miz.

The Miz reached down under his feet to grab the EBWF Gateway Championship.

The Miz: This is the EBWF Gateway Championship. This is my ticket to my fifth EBWF World Championship Reign. This is the belt.. that leads me to the belt.. that I literally can't stop thinking about. So with it being a foregone conclusion that I will once again become the EBWF Champion, you may be thinking to yourself.. "Miz what's your motivation for winning King of the Ring?" The answer.. guy who clearly doesn't know me enough to know that I'm always motivated to be victorious because when you're a winner.. that's what you do. The answer.. is that I am motivated simply by another opportunity to show like I have so many times over the course of my career that I shine so much brighter than every other superstar in our locker room. I am motivated by another opportunity to show that I am the VERY BEST that this company has to offer. I am motivated by the chance to literally RULE over the EBWF as it's King. I am ready to show everyone Mizfits that I am INDEED.. the KING.. of the RING.. in every sense of the phrase. The first man up, who will ultimately fail in their quest of stopping me... is..

The Miz sarcastically looked at a piece of paper. He squinted and then put readers on.

The Miz: Look at me.. I'm a dad for only a couple of days and I already got the readers going.

The Miz read from the paper.

The Miz: Paul London.. That can't b... Paul London, Paul London? REALLY? Like the guy who used to bum around with Brian Kendrick? That Paul London? Oh ho man.. that's awesome.. I mean that's really amazing. Paul London.. how about that. Well that just means one thing.. and it's something that has been unquestionably true on so many other occassions.. it's a bad freaking day to be Paul London. I'm obviously being facetious about not knowing Paul was the opponent that was on tap for me. The reason being is that I'm taking this tournament extremely serious. I have been on fire lately, and the last thing that is going to happen, is that I'm going to come in unprepared and Paul London is going to Heath Slater me and beat me when my guard is down. I'm actually SHOCKED that Paul didn't mention that during his little rant he when on about me earlier. Paul literally just vomitted my wikipedia page out to all of my Mizfits and passed it off as his attempt at trying to be relevant. I'm about to 8 mile this little dork because yeah.. I've started and ended stables. Yes I've been a good guy and a bad guy multiple times. Yes me and AJ have been on again off again partners. Yes I wanted to be friends with The Rock.. who doesn't.. my boy future is an uncle tom.. I do have a dumb friend named Cheddar Bob who shoots himself in his leg with his own gun. All of that Paul.. all of that.. has led me to right now. Right now. I am a Four Time EBWF Champion.. right now.. I am destined to be a first ballot EBWF Hall of Famer. RIGHT NOW.. I am on a crash course to get to the top of the mountain once again. RIGHT NOW.. I am one of.. if not the most recognizable FACES of the industry that you have been a journeyman loser falling in and out of companies for years on years. RIGHT NOW.. I am the literal STAR that you could only dream of being. Every step of my journey everything you referenced in a negative light, has led to EVERYTHING POSITIVE that I have right now. My wife.. my daughter.. my championship.. my fame.. my success.. it's all happened as a result of the decisions I've made along the way in my career. SO I don't regret ONE SINGLE THING.. but I'll tell you one thing Paul.. I know that you can't say the same.. can you?

The Miz was starting to get a little colder in his approach.

The Miz: Paul London- you have had runs.. well not really runs.. but you've had times when you've been employed here.. you've had times when you've been employed in other promotions. You've wrestled in America in huge arenas, you've wrestled I'm sure in sweaty bingo halls in Turkey or Istanbul in front of 4 sweaty men and 6 Goats. The point is.. you can't.. you just CAN'T look at me and say that you're proud of how it's all turned out for you. You're 41 years old and you've given your life to this business.. and what do you have to show for it? NOTHING.. NADA.. ZIPPO. People barely know who you are now.. and after I absolutely demolish you and send your ass packing from the King of the Ring tournament.. just like companies have sent you packing all over the globe and wished you the best.. you are going to be back on the unemployment line sitting outside of rest stops with a "Will Wrestle For Food" sign around your neck. Paul London? You're going to question my career choices? You're going to question what I've done? REALLY? Would the stoned unemployed douchebag who scalped his way into a basketball game.. question Lebron James on anything?

The Miz thought for a second.

The Miz: Well I mean he probably would.. but he would look equally as stupid as you look for someone like YOU.. talking down to someone like ME. Paul- let me clue you into a little something.. You are a freaking NOBODY.. and you are going against the biggest SOMEBODY in the history of this whole god damn business. You have sacrificed you've humiliated and degraded yourself over the course of your worthless existence in this business.. you'd give anything.. ANYTHING.. to be a star.. but Paul there's just nothing there. All your little flippity flips and floopdy doos.. that you do.. the people give you a nice little golf clap.. they say things like "oh that was cute" but then the next thing out of their mouth is "let's use this match to go get some nachos" and the kids they brought all go "YAY NACHOS!" then the parents are like "Yes Nachos are great.. and then we'll have them to eat.. when the real stars like The Miz COME OUT!" and there's just mass cheering from the kids.. because they know.. LATER.. they are going to be entertained.. they know LATER.. that they are going to be captivated by the biggest thing the BEST thing to have ever flashed a million watt smile on national televison. They know they are going to be entertained by a man who's legacy is going to live on after he's long gone. They know they are witnessing history EVERY time I step foot into an arena and into a ring. They know they are watching the best to ever do it. What will you leave behind Paul? Besides unpaid parking tickets and a pissed stained mattress that you keep in the back of your beat up Pinto from all the nights you undoubetbly slept in your car. You love this business Paul, but this business doesn't love you back. You've spent so much time on the "Independent" scene.. which sounds SO positive.. but all independent really means.. is that nobody wants to be dependent on you.. which is because.. well it's because you suck Paul.. it's because you suck.

The Miz smirked at his own comment.

The Miz: It's hard to be dependent on someone who sucks. Let's face it. It's the EBWF and it's tournament season. We're like a freaking Macy's around the Holidays. We had Royal Rumble.. now it's King of the Ring. We need guys to come in and work... we need people to entertain the actual superstars that are in this business so what do we do? We go out and hire guys to come in. Here you are Paul.. here you are.. you're back in the EBWF.. congrats my friend.

The Miz gave him a sarcastic clap.

The Miz: You're back in the EBWF and what do you decide to do as this King of the Ring tournament kicks off? You decide to promptly piss off.. the one guy in this whole company that you just DON'T want to piss off. You see Paul, I'm so freaking talented that even if I wasn't angry with you at all. Even if you didn't even annoy me.. I'm so god damn good that I would have wrestled circles, squares, triangles, rhombuses and all sorts of other shapes around you. Now you go out and you have the nerve to speak to me like we're equals.. or even funnier, scarier yet.. like you are my superior. Like I'm a joke to you.. when you're a JOKE to literally EVERYONE in this entire business. You're a guy that established guys who've made it.. look at and say "aw.. Paul.. shucks.. he's trying again.. good for him." You're a laughing stock Paul.. except right now I'm not laughing.. and in the first round of this tournament.. when I'm beating some respect into your haggard worn down exploited body.. you won't be either. You see Paul, there's a reason why you don't stick anywhere.. why you don't last. That reason is.. some guys have mastered the art of just blending in.. existing.. without ruffling any feathers. You have not mastered that art Paul.. you just haven't. Otherwise you wouldn't have poked the biggest and baddest tigers in the entire company with a stick multiple times..until now I feel obligated to sadistically bite your god damn arm off. I'm trying hard to give you the benefit of the doubt, Paul. I'm putting myself in your shoes. Obviously they don't fit, because I'm not a kids size 5.. but it's a metaphor. I'm trying to see this thing through your eyes.. you're looking at our match as this opportunity to show that you are capable of being around here long term. You're looking at this match as an opportunity to prove you belong. You're getting the chance to face the greatest of the great, cream of the crop, Superest of Stars, your FAVORITE WRESTLER'S FAVORITE WRESTLER.. and you're pumped about it. However, you're just such an unbelievable dweeb that you can't just come out and say that.. so what do you do? What does Dweeby.. never going to be over.. Paul London do instead? He big times.. someone who is WAY TOO FREAKING BIG TIME.. to be BIG TIMED by ANYONE.. let alone.. by someone so SMALL both figuratively and literally. Paul London tries to BIG time The Miz.. and it's got me confused.. it's bizarre Paul. How could this be your plan of attack? How? Like I'm asking..

The Miz waited for a response.

The Miz: Who am I kidding? Paul won't see this.. you can't buy a computer with pistachio nuts or whatever else he got paid in for all of his wrestling "ventures" we'll call them. The point is Paul.. your plan of attack should have gone something like this. You get on camera and you formerly thank Wes for not only letting you be in the EBWF again.. but also for booking you against me in the first round.. because for a moment Paul.. an instant.. a flash.. you will matter to the EBWF universe. You will matter because you will be the guy standing across from me. People will be glued to their TV's or to the live action.. and they will be looking at you Paul. They'll be looking at you do your little misty flips around the ring.. they'll be looking at you trying not to cry because of how sad your pathetic life makes them.. and they'll be looking at you trying not to cry even more still.. when their hero.. mwah.. savagely beats you to within an inch of your life.. they'll be captivated by every stiff left hand.. every slam.. and when I drop you face first to the mat.. it won't just be a "Skull Crushing Finale" it will also be the Finale of Paul London.. and THAT'S something that so MANY have been waiting for.. so for once Paul.. it will be something you're involved in.. that people are going to want to tune in for.

The Miz shook his head, troubled.

The Miz: Your strategy should have been to just come out and been "happy to be here." You should have approached it like that Paul.. but you didn't. You have way too much Brian Kendrick.. way too much CM Punk.. in your stupid midget body for that don't you big guy? You had to come out and show that you were standing up for Indpendent Wrestlers everywhere.. that even though you never REALLY made it big time.. even though you never REALLY had any success.. that you're still cooler than someone like The Miz.. that you would never take shortcuts to get to the promised land.. well bad news Paul.. maybe you didn't take short cuts.. but you also never made it to the promised land.. did you? My dad used to say.. you can't enjoy where you are.. until you get there. He said it referring to me just driving safe.. but I'm going to say it to you now.. because it seems relevant. I'm literally in the destination that you would just about die for. I matter Paul. I'm relevant. I've thrived in this business year after year. You can't comment on me.. and the position I'm in.. because you have never and will NEVER be in my position. You can't enjoy where I am Paul.. because you'll NEVER get there. My next destination Paul.. is to become the King of the Ring.. and boy am I going to enjoy that when I get there.. I'll drive safe dad.. don't worry.. just going to go over a couple of speedbumps along the way.. and the first one I'm going to run over.. is you Paul.. is you.

Because I'm The Miz.

And I'm...

Awesome...

The shook with intensity as he delivered his tag line, and the scene faded to black.