Better than Grimes, and everybody with a pulse knows it

[TheDynasty]

The scene opens backstage, where Maxwell Jacob Friedman is sitting on a silver flight case, looking directly into the camera. He’s wearing an expensive burgundy suit, with his trademark burberry scarf around his neck. He takes a moment for the boos from the main arena to quieten down before beginning to speak.

“Twenty years. Twenty years of the EBWF. The company once known as the Extreme, Best, Wrestlers, Federation. It’s extremely fortunate that Wes gave up on that name, because up until that point, this place had spent years on Extreme, False, Advertising. I say that because even back in 2007, age eleven, I was a better wrestler than half of that locker room. And you want to talk about Extreme? DID YOU SEE ME ON ROSIE?! At age five I upstaged that exploitative sow on her own television show. And now, now after so many dull, dreary snoozefests spanning two whole decades, the quality of EBWF programming is going to improve exponentially. For the first time in years, you sad sacks sitting at home, still stuffing “Turkey Day” leftovers down your oxerexpanded oesophogi…oesophoguses…oesopho…you know what, it doesn’t matter, the point is that you’re all a bunch of oversized, underachieving losers…but even people as phenomenally disappointing as you all so clearly are deserve a better weekly television show than you’ve been getting from this array of hasbeens and neverweres, and now you’re going to get it, courtesy of Maxwell Jacob Friedman.”

He pauses as boos begin echoing through the corridor. When they subside, he continues.

“Finally, the EBWF has somebody worthy of its former name. They have a star athlete, a blue chipper. And what do they do? They book me against Cameron…Grimes. Now Cameron, I’m not going to lie to you or these people. I’m taking this match extremely seriously. I’ve been hard at work doing my pre-match research. I went straight onto Wikipedia and typed in your name because pal, I had no idea who you were. I mean some of the guys here: Jericho, Edge, AJ Styles, The Miz…Those are household names. Sure, they were also household names decades ago. Sure, they’re no spring chickens, but they at least have name recognition. Cameron Grimes on the other hand; you’re not The Miz…you’re The Mid. Doling out the same mediocre bull crap week after week. I mean, don’t get me wrong Cam, these mud-bogging, cotton-picking Greenville rednecks probably wouldn’t even notice, I mean, they’re not exactly drowning in intelligence in the shallow end of the gene pool, if you know what I’m saying. But to the people that matter, the people like me, we see straight through that tired old schtick, buddy. You say that you’re going straight to the moon, but we all know that isn’t happening. And it isn’t the fault of the management or the bookers. They’ve tried pushing you, they’ve tried strapping that proverbial rocket to your back and pointed you up towards the stars, but you know what you did? You whined, and you bitched, and you cried, just like you always have. The second they lit the fuse on that rocket to stardom, you extinguished it with your own tears. That’s the problem with being mid, Cam. You may not admit it, but you know deep inside that that kind of push would have all eyes on you, and with all eyes on you, you know that all of your many, many flaws would be exposed. So you did what any self-respecting, mid, wrestler would do; You sabotaged your own shots and then blamed it on the big guys upstairs. Well that’s one thing that Maxwell Jacob Friedman will not do, because unlike you Cam, I have the skills to back up every single word that comes forth from these lips. So believe me, Cameron Grimes, when I tell you that I’m giving you a gift that money can’t buy. Never again will people forget your name, you’re going to go down in the annals of EBWF history. You’re going to take your rightful place as a footnote in the history of my soon to be illustrious EBWF career, as the guy MJF pinned in match number one. It’s nothing to be ashamed about, buddy. It’s just the natural order, because I’m better than you, and you know it.”

MJF’s theme music begins to blare over the speakers and the boos intensify as MJF kisses his Dynamite Diamond ring and the screen cuts to black.

[A.J]

Great Job

[D.J]

Loved this