“Better Than You” hit the speakers as MJF made his way down the ramp, followed by Richard Holliday, Ace Austin and KC Navarro. He took a microphone from ringside before entering the ring. He stood in the center of the ring, addressing the camera, while the other members of the Dynasty stood behind him, sometimes interacting with fans at ringside.
MJF: The Target Center! Home of the Minnesota Timberwolves, which seems particularly apt, because looking around this arena, I can see that Minnesotan women are nothing but oversized dogs…Of course, the Timberwolves aren’t Minneapolis’ only sporting claim to fame; you also have the Vikings, again a perfect name, because if the last couple of years’ worth of news reports are to be believed, Minnesotan men are pretty experienced when it comes to looting and burning down buildings. But I’m not just here to insult Minnesota and generate “cheap heat.” I mean, is it FUN to insult you? Is it EASY to insult you? YAH, You Betcha! But I’m here for other reasons.
The first reason I’m out here is to address a travesty. I’m here to address my elimination from the Last Survivor match. It took FIVE people to eliminate me. I was speared by Edge, RKO’d by Orton…and can I just point out that THOSE GUYS ARE A TEAM! How can the management of this second-rate federation justify allowing a TEAM in a Last Survivor match! It’s unfair to the individual wrestlers like myself when there are people working together in a match that’s supposed to be every man for himself! Then we have the self-proclaimed King, Xavier Woods. The man that chose to be entrant number one to prove himself, but ended up proving nothing at all, other than he needs other wrestlers to be able to eliminate me. That leads me to offender number 4, Assboy number 1, Austin Gunn. You went into the match to make a statement, to make a name for yourself. Well congratulations, you will no longer be known simply as “Assboy number 1,” now you will be known as “Assboy number 1 that took Edge from behind.” What an achievement, what an accomplishment, what a title for your sex tape!
Now, many of you will be thinking that those 4 were the reason for my loss. They were certainly involved, but I was robbed before I even re-entered the ring. I was robbed by that stupid, old son of a whore, Steve Austin. Steve, you have been a thorn in my side since I got here. Your desperation to remain relevant has led to you insulting me, attacking me, interfering in my matches, demanding matches…no matter how many times we get rid of you, you just keep coming back again and again, each time as annoying and unwanted as before. You are like the herpes of the EBWF. I’m better than you and you know it – so get over it. We have things to do in this promotion, things that don’t involve you, so Richard put me in touch with his lawyer slash father and right about now you should be getting served with a restraining order. You may be obsessed with me, but I truly don’t give a rat’s ass about you.
The other reason I’m out here is to reintroduce you to the greatest faction in EBWF today. The future of the professional wrestling industry. First up, the most marketable man in professional wrestling, Richard Holliday! Next up, what he lacks in size, he makes up for in charisma and when it comes to his in-ring ability, he is truly blessed…KC Navarro! The man that makes his own luck, the Ace of Spades, the Inevitable Ace Austin! But as impressive as we four are, as much as we could dominate this business, as much as we are better than you, and as much as you know it, there was one missing piece of the puzzle. At Last Survivor, you were introduced to that missing piece, but in case you were hibernating through this shitty, cold Minnesotan winter, let me introduce him to you once again. The Suplex Assassin, Alex Kane!
“Suplex Assassin” hit the speakers as Alex Kane stepped onto the stage to chorus of boos, wearing a Bomaye Fight Club T-shirt. He made his way to the ring, refusing to high five a child wearing a Jericho T-shirt, before joining the rest of the Dynasty in ring.
MJF: Now, before we hear what Alex has to say, I have a confession to make. When I said that Alex Kane was the final piece of the Dynastic puzzle, I was not being completely truthful. You see, I’ve been talking to Richard about how we can make The Dynasty even more marketable, and he had a brilliant idea. So, with that said…SEND HOOK!
The house lights went out, plunging the arena into darkness as the crowd erupted. After a few moments, the lights came back up with MJF and the other Dynasty members pointing at the audience and laughing.
MJF: Oh my god, you guys are so gullible! Do you really think that if Hook was joining the Dynasty, I’d announce it in MID-eapolis, MID-esota? Alex, say what you want buddy.
MJF passed the microphone to Alex Kane.
Alex: Thank you Max! For those of you that do not know me, my name is Alex Kane, and I am your future EBWF Breakout Champion! You heard me King, I’m coming for you. To sign with EBWF, I had to relinquish my National Openweight Championship and I miss that gold, so I’m going to have to replace it with yours. I’ve seen how you carry yourself here, and I know that you’re a fighting champion that doesn’t back down. You showed it when you won the belt, you showed it by volunteering to be entrant number 1 and you showed it by defending that belt against two other men. I’m not calling you out for next week, or even the week after, but just know that one day soon I will be coming for that title, so keep looking over your shoulder.
However, I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself. Before I can even start looking at Xavier and the Breakout championship, I need to get through Kevin Steen. Now I know before you were running around wearing masks, before all the Fight Owens Fight, it was Kill Steen Kill. You can see on my shirt the word Bomaye, but do you know what it means? At the Rumble In The Jungle, the fans chanted Ali Bomaye, finish him, kill him. This coming Monday, it’s going to be killer versus killer. It’s going to be kill or be killed, so I hope you’ve still got that killer instinct. Bomaye! Bomaye! BOMAYE! BOMAYE! BOMAYE!
He dropped the microphone and continued to chant as “Diamonds Are Forever (Arctic Monkeys cover)” hit the speakers and The Dynasty made their way to the back.
