Big Announcements
Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2012 2:13 pm
[The scene opened with Christian, wearing a black suit jacket, along with a white shirt, a black tie, and black trousers, as always smirking into the camera, but the background seemed different. A white brick wall was behind Christian. He was backstage in a house show. One could see in his face that he was up to no good, as he began whispering to the camera.]
Christian (Whispering): Hey, guys... My name's Jason Reso, and today I'll be pranking Terrence, aka Rhyno. Now, I don't know if you guys know this, but Rhyno really hates that new scary game, "Slender"... He's a bit scared of it, and I don't blame him... But I do blame him for the punch he hit last week. He though he'd get away easily... nuh-uh! Here's what I'm gonna do: In the game slender, you're chased by this faceless guy who's really creepy, and is always behind you... Right now, he's in his locker room, in the bathroom getting dressed, but when he comes out... he's going to find me disguised as Slender, all I gotta do is set up the camera so he doesn't see it, and stand there waiting for him to open the door. Poor guy will need to change his pants after this... I might get gored though, but it'll be for a greater good. Alright... Let's do this!
[Christian got quietly in the locker room, and set the camera up, aiming at the bathroom door. He put something white on his head, that covered his entire face, and waited for Rhyno to open the door. After about 10 seconds, the click of the door latch was heard, and the knob turned. Rhyno opened the door, looked at "Slenderman", let out a big scream, and charged toward him, with a shoulder tackle. Rhyno quickly got back up, and left the locker room. The sound of Christian laughing, but still in a bit of pain, was heard. He still considered the prank a success. As he got back up, the scene went to static, and crossed over to a shot of Rhyno.]
Rhyno: Very f'n funny, huh? I'll get you back Jay, trust me. Next week, I'll prank you where it hurts the most, see you then old chum!
[The scene went back to static, before shutting off, ending the video.]
["Just Close Your Eyes" by Waterproof Blonde hit the PA system in a house show in Edmonton. Despite not being close to Christian's hometown, The Instant Classic received a pop that is normally reserved for big returns, or surprise appearances from legends. It felt great for him, to get this reception. He missed performing in front of his fellow countrymen, today he came out with a microphone in hand, ready to address the crowd.]
Christian: How's it going, eh? It's been a while... but before I say anything, I just want to acknowledge one thing... It feels great to be back here, with all these fans, some of which still remember me from the good ol' days... If you're not sure what I'm talking about, then you're not a peep! I'm talking about the days of Joe E. Legend, Rhino Richards, Sexton Hardcastle and Christian Cage, aka...
[The crowd cheered for the mentions, recognizing the names. They then interrupted Christian with a "THUG Life" chant, that noticeably embarassed the wrestler.]
Christian: You remember! Anyways, I'm talking about the days of "The Suicide Blondes", the days when I wasn't even Christian! Back in those days, it was family who supported me the most, and they kept supporting my dream of one day getting the reaction that I got when I entered through that curtain, and came out to this ring. To this day, my family still supports me, the only difference is, my family has grown bigger... By thousands! Each and every one of you who has said "Get Mad!", "That's how I roll!", or even "Thug Life" is a member of my family... Each one of you that has cheered for me, is a member of my family! Why the sappy stuff today, you ask? Well, in case you haven't noticed...
[Christian held up his left hand. On the ring finger there was an engagement ring. The Instant Classic had gotten married, and told no one, he chuckled and continued speaking.]
Christian: Rhyno popped the question!
[The crowd burst out laughing and so did Christian, who almost lost balance and fell to the mat.]
Christian: Seriously though, I proposed to my girlfriend last week. Surprised her, after the Pay-Per-View ended I got on the plane immediately, and went back home to Tampa for a big surprise. I proposed, she said yes and here we are. Me and Denise are bound to get married early January. Now what does this have to do with being out here... Well, being married brings great responsibilities, now, you maybe wondering where I'm going with this... Well, where I'm going with this is related to taking time off... I will NEVER take time off! Who do you think I am? Dwayne Johnson?
[Big pop for Christian, as he simultaneously delivered good news, and down-talked The Rock.]
Christian: Denise will be with me on tour, I've reached a point in my life where I have to EQUALLY balance out personal and professional life. I'll still be with EBWF every day of the week, only this time I'll have more company! I'll still be as committed as always, only I'll be committed to both EBWF and my fiancée! You can bet that on Monday, I'll be more focused than ever, coming off that Title Shot victory, I have something to prove more than ever, and that's how I work the best! On Monday, I'll have to prove that the Pay-Per-View win wasn't a fluke, just like my upcoming title win won't be a fluke. I've dealt with the old yellers, now it's time to deal with the young bucks!
[Christian took a breather, and resumed speaking.]
Christian: I'm talking about Dean Ambrose... The guy who seems to be cracked in the head... I feel like I said that about someone else before... Oh yeah, Hawkins. Just goes to show the originality of some people... Ambrose says that this company has taken everything from him. The kid is visibly unstable, or so it would appear. I won't lie, it's a great product... If you're buying it. I deal with unstable people since 1994, I've seen guys who claim they've been through hell and back, when all they really are is smoke and mirrors. Yes, he won at Fanniversary. Yes, he's the current Tag Team Champion. Yes, he's a good competitor... But he's lacking in certain areas... He's too young, he's brash... He thinks he's independent, when all he is, is arrogant... That is his downfall, his arrogance... His little act would work, if he just gave some space for modesty...
[Christian walked around the ring, scratched his head, and kept talking, he decided he would try a different strategy. Mind Games.]
Christian: You know... the only reason why he has that title is Rollins... He's the real talent in the team, he's the one that finished off Baretta, and knocked Ryder off the apron. He's the one that got the pin. Ambrose just got the title for Rollins' work. Which means, not only is Ambrose arrogant, he's a slacker. Slackers have no place in my ring! AMBROSE has no place in my ring! Come Monday, I'll get in that ring, with a single purpose, to win! I don't even care about softening him up for our impending title match, because I know that the real challenge there will be Seth Rollins. I just hope Ambrose doesn't get in the way of his partner, you know, because I like challenges.
[Christian faced the camera head-on and smirked.]
Christian. So, Ambrose, if you're not too busy being "unstable", or just a slacker... Meet me in the ring on Monday! I will give you a sample of what you'll see... yes, see, we all know you're gonna pull the same crap you pulled and leave Rollins... I'll give you a sample of what you'll see, in our Tag Team Title match! On Monday it'll be time to Get Mad, because THAT'S how I roll!
[Captain Charisma's music hit, and he taunted the crowd, as the scene faded to black.]