AKA
Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2023 2:01 pm
The Miz had had some undeniably good rivalries over the course of his time in the EBWF. Since 2011- The Miz AKA Mike Mizanin had been one of, if not the biggest focal point in the entire wrestling business. He was a grand slam champion, a 7 time and current World Champion, he had found himself a home in the company and made some of his longest lasting friendships and relationships in the EBWF. Despite all of the in ring and out of ring accolades and successes, The Miz remained hungry, passionate, driven for the business that had given him so much over the years. He was determined day in and day out to continue to give back to the business itself. He fought tooth and nail to stay relevant and stay entertaining so that the EBWF could continue to exist with himself as the face of it. An unlikely alliance with Matt Riddle and Michael Cole, of all people, had the wrestling world buzzing. They were over with the audience, and having a blast mixing humor with serious results inside the ring. It was as much fun as The Miz had ever had. There was one man though that had come into the EBWF that seemed lasered in on ending the party, and that man was Roman Reigns. Reigns was a draw, but seemed a little misguided in his approach to get to The Miz. He seemed blind to what can get under his skin, and truly rattle him. Reigns though physically imposing, did not seem to mentally have any type of capacity to understand the dynamics he was about to enter into with such a skilled and crafty veteran. Fallout would be a matchup that would be the culmination of a month full of mind games between the two competitors, however it would feature only one man that seemed to have a handle on reality and what was actually going to go down and take place. That one man, was the EBWF World Champion, The Miz.
The scene opened up inside the Bro Awesome RV. Mickie James drove, she was wearing daisy duke jean shorts and a white tanktop, looking as though she was straight out of a country music video. On the couch was Michael Cole and Matt Riddle. They wore matching Bro Awesome shirts and snap back hats on backwards. They both chewed gum with their mouth open, and popped a comedy filled simultaneous bubble. This got a laugh from The Miz who sat in the chair opposite the couch. He had the EBWF Championship over the back of the chair. He wore a designer t-shirt and black slacks. Sunglasses covered his eyes, and his hair was slicked all the way around. After a few beats, he broke the silence.
The Miz: I mean guys- what the heck did we just watch? What the heck did we just hear? I mean in so many freaking ways- I feel like I'm on drugs, ACID to be specific going into this match with Roman Reigns. Like am I hallucinating?
Riddle looked confused as to if Miz wanted an answer.
Riddle: No?
Beat.
Matt Riddle: Yes?
Beat.
Matt Riddle: I don't know bro! I mean do you see like unicorns and rainbows?
Michael Cole: Make believe bro.
The Miz smiled.
The Miz: I don't- but I'm just trying to wrap my head around- what Roman is actually seeing through his lens. I'm trying to wrap my head around the world that Roman seems to think that we exist in. Because when you listen to him speak, when we've been subjected week in and week out to hearing him rummage his 4 brain cells together to try and form thoughts, he describes an EBWF that simply put.. IS MAKE BELIEVE. I mean listening to this guy list every opponent he's ever faced, that he's ever defeated, and having him try to pass it off as trash talk- like it's something that's supposed to impress me, or better yet intimidate me- is pure comedy. I mean Matt he beat you, that's about all I can give him for credit- and I'm pretty sure that was the day where you asked me if 15 mg is high on an edible.
Riddle: Yeah I now know the answer is yes on that bro.
Michael Cole: You were on Mars bro.
Riddle: Yeah the planet with the rings bro.
Michael Cole went to correct him, but blew a gigantic bubble instead, and nodded.
The Miz: The point is, if we're doing the whole resume thing. We're going to be here for a long god damn time. Let's look at the facts of this match at Fallout. If Roman Reigns beats me, he won't, but let's all take metaphorical acid and pretend that we live in a dimension where that could happen, let's say it does happen. That would literally be the biggest win of his entire life, of his entire career. As he's proven, it would go into his ledger that he obviously keeps of every match he's ever had. He'd add it emphatically to his win column, and he would proceed to talk about it, until either he died or the audience all committed suicide from having to hear about it so much. I mean poor Xavier Woods, I beat the brakes off of him so bad that the poor guy had to take a leave of absence and is probably rocking back and forth muttering my name in a padded cell, MEANWHILE in ROMAN LAND- Reigns is still talking about wanting to face him. Roman.. ROMAN!? Are you with us- mission control to Roman- XAVIER WOODS is GONE. You can't face him. Common theme number one of Roman Reigns "SMASHED"
Michael Cole: Mario Brothers bro.
Riddle: Super Smash Bros.. what a great game.
The Miz didn't break flow.
The Miz: Then you want to talk about facing Edge? Week in and week out- over and over again- Adam Copeland has to hear his name in your mouth. Somehow you just don't seem to understand that you are completely and utterly irrelevant to anyone who's ever actually done anything in this company. Like honestly, here's my impression of Edge- who you just won't shut up about, hearing you say his name non stop. In this scene I'll be playing Edge- Riddle you be Reigns.
Riddle looked excited that he got to act.
Riddle: Uh okay- ASSES!
The Miz: Huh?
Riddle: I want to smash them- I want to smash some ASSES BRO!
The Miz tried not to laugh- he then furthered his explanation of what he was looking for out of Riddle.
The Miz: No like you be Reigns and mention Edge- I'll be Edge.
Michael Cole: Roleplay bro.
Riddle winked at the camera- and then nodded understanding.
Riddle: Hey Edge, bro, I want to fight you!
The Miz looked up acknowledging "his" name- and then began crunching loudly on a bag of Lays Potato Chips. His last bite was his loudest.
The Miz: THAT! That is how much Edge cares about you Roman. You couldn't even get him to put down a bag of Lays Potato Chips- and they aren't even all that good of a chip. So after you get done talking about matchups you'll never have, THEN, and ONLY then do you get to me. The man that has beat you around a wrestling ring to the left to the left to the right to the right, now kick, now kick, I mean my man- I've Cupid Shuffled you in the ring multiple times. Then you get to me? Really? I'm the third guy on your mind right now? REALLY? Me? The guy who threw you off a stage, the guy you can't beat, the guy who has been the face of the company that you claim to be the "HEAD" of. I'm the guy that's the bronze medalist of your thoughts right now? This is what I'm talking about- what person in their right mind, could be going up against someone who literally owns them, and not talk about everyone else but? Roman mentioned that I've tried to get out of this match- trust me bro- it's the COMPLETE opposite. I want this match more than I've wanted any match in my career. You should be thanking god for me, because I'm the first person who is worth a nickel around here that has actually given you the time of day. I'm the first person that has ever mattered in this business, that has ever given you any of my thoughts or energy. I want this match though not to prove myself to you, because honestly whether or not I matter to you is so far is so beyond low, it's comical.
Michael Cole: Apple Bottom Jeans, Boots with the fur low, bro.
The Miz: I want this match, because I want to see the look on your face- when REALITY strikes. When you realize that the nonsense that you broken record at all my Mizfits week in and week out, is the furthest thing from the truth possible. You aren't the head of any table, you aren't the chief of any tribe, you aren't the greatest of this time- or any time. You aren't smashing anyone at Fallout- and the second you realize that- it's going to be the most painful- yet hilarious moment of TV that this company has seen in quite sometime.
Riddle: It's honestly like when Buzz Lightyear realizes he's a toy, bro.
Michael Cole: To infinity and beyond bro.
The Miz thought for a second.
The Miz: Riddle you know what? You're absolutely right. Roman Reigns is the EBWF's Buzz freaking light year. He shows up thinking he's this Space Ranger- thinking that he's bigger and better than everyone else in Andy's room AKA the EBWF- but really he's just a toy.. just a toy.. like the dinosaur, like the piggy bank, like the etch a sketch. You're just like everyone else. At fallout you're going to enter the match with the false confidence that Buzz had attempting to fly off the bannister- but just like him- you won't fly- you'll fall flat on your face.
Riddle: Broken Wings bro.
Michael Cole: Mr. Mister bro.
The Miz: You'll fall flat on your face, and THAT is why I care about this match- that is why I want nothing more than this match. I want to be the one RESPONSIBLE for that fall from grace, NOT in the EBWF because in REALITY you aren't that high up around here, but the INTERNAL fall from grace, the fall from YOUR OWN grace. I want to be there, HOLDING THIS
The Miz patted his title.
The Miz: While you realize that you AREN'T WHO YOU SAY YOU ARE.. that you realize that you AREN'T WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE. I want to be there in that moment, because it's the moment that you.. and QUITE FRANKLY everyone else who tries to enjoy our show, despite your lunacy, needs so desperately.. and I'm honored.. HONORED.. to be the one who's going to be able to give them this great gift. It's not only just a gift for them though Roman, it's a gift for you. Nobody should have THIS inflated of an opinion about themselves. Nobody should be THIS off base with what is actually the truth. This is the EBWF- it's a company that just because you say you're the best in it, doesn't make it true. You have to prove it, you have to earn it, you have to ACTUALLY do something that could even put you in the conversation. I'm glad I returned to the EBWF when I did, because in a world where Xavier Woods once held this title, anything was freaking possible. With me here now Roman, not everything is possible.
Michael Cole: Sorry Kevin Garnett- but it's not, bro.
Riddle smiled as Miz continued.
The Miz: You holding this title, is now NOT possible- and that is what's best. You see even one title reign, no pun intended, for you would have been the worst thing for your detachment of what's real and what's not. One time holding this belt- could send you even further into the deep end of false ideas. I'm not going to let that happen to you Roman. You're never going to be the champion, you're never going to be the "top dog", you're never going to be anyone but the guy who came in with a gigantic ego- only to have that balloon bopped nice and loud in front of the whole world at Fallout, before he got so mad at the realization that he'd never be more than second around here, and ultimately left the company to go cry about it somewhere.
Michael Cole: Boo hoo, bro.
Matt Riddle: You mad bro?
The Miz smirked.
The Miz seemed content with his comments as he sat back in his chair, and the scene faded out. The scene faded back in backstage at Arthur Ashe Stadium in Queens New York- the site of EBWF Fallout. It was the afternoon of the show and we were outside of the backstage area. After a couple of beats a large black stretch limo pulled up. After a couple of more beats, Michael Cole, Riddle, and Mickie James-Mizanin all exited the limo. In similar get up from the first scene. Last out was The Miz. He was wearing an all black suit and had the EBWF Championship over his shoulder. There was no word spoken between any of them as they entered the arena. After several steps, Pat McAfee entered the frame- he looked excited to see Miz. He ran up to him and had his arm extended for a high five. The Miz smiled back and went to go exchange the high five with McAfee, but instead brought his arm down, causing McAfee to stumble forward. Miz made a fart noise as he brought his hand down to complete the high five snub.
Pat McAfee: What the hell bro?
The Miz and his friends continued to walk forward without once looking back. All of them held middle fingers up over their heads, as they entered their locker room. The camera followed them in there. After a couple of beats they all started laughing hysterically.
The Miz: Honestly? Like I didn't even know the guy worked here. Now he's on camera listing Roman's nicknames like some sort of fan boy? Just complete news to me that Pat McAfee is like one of Roman's best friends, can't imagine how that friendship formed up. Pat was like "I used to be a punter and I hate sleeves" and then Roman was like "everyone in the world wants to punt me in the head- and I also hate sleeves." "DID WE JUST BECOME BEST FRIENDS!"
Riddle: YUP!
The Miz: Do you want to go do karate in the garage?
Michael Cole: YUP!
The Miz smiled.
The Miz: Honestly though, one of the things I found rich was that Roman is the first person to claim that I'm afraid or that I'm insecure about my championship or this match in general. Then Pat criticizes him a little bit about going soft, he criticizes that because Roman has let his wife do a lot of his talking- and helping him with his presentation that that somehow makes him less of a man. He gets that SLIVER of criticism and what does this idiot do? He sends his wife packing, claiming that he NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN OUT OF NOWHERE, feels like he has to do it alone. I mean I feel like I could be like "you look fat in that outfit" and Roman would binge eat cupcakes and be saying "I hate you" while looking in the mirror chewing. This guy is CLEARLY the insecure one, he's clearly the one that is obsessed with what people think about him. His image is something that he's relentlessly trying to create, but does not have the mental or physical toughness to solidify it. As far as I'm concerned Galina is the only thing he has going for him, when she talks the words she says actually connect to one another, they feel like they originate in this planet, she seems like she has a good feel for the business. So there you go Roman, send away the only asset that you have, send away the only thing that isn't a complete joke when it comes to you, and now watch that joke get LOTS of laughs from my Mizfits at Fallout when I absolutely humiliate you in front of the world. Don't worry though, you can hold your head up high when it's done, because hey you might have gotten viciously beaten and embarrassed but at least you did it alone. Good for you.
The Miz, Michael Cole, and Riddle all in unison gave a sarcastic thumbs up.
The Miz: If you want to talk about soft, it's letting some jamoak a doke milkshake like Pat McAfee get into your head. It's letting someone like that change up everything you've been trying to build or do. Your INSECURITY is SOFT. Your wearing a mask to hide- that it is INFACT you who is scared.. is SOFT. You say that all I'm about is talking- but let me clue you in on a little something. My talk- comes from a place of DOMINANCE- my talk comes from Grandslam Champion status- MY TALK- comes from SEVEN.. count them.. SEVEN.. EBWF World CHAMPIONSHIPS! MY TALK.. ALWAYS ROMAN.. is followed by SWIFT, DECESIVE, UNPRECEDENTED ACTION. Your mouth moves words come out- but they're not real words are they? EVEN YOU don't believe the things you're saying to be true. You know deep down- that you've been so concerned with putting up this HEMAN front- that you forgot to put the work in to garner the skills to back it up.. and that is about the SOFTEST way ANYONE can go about trying to matter here.
Riddle: He's soft bro.
Michael Cole: There's a pill for that bro.
Mickie spit out her water as she did in a prior segment. Michael Cole is undefeated.
The Miz: Let's go.
The Miz exited first, with no questions Bro Awesome was right behind him and followed him to Gorilla. The fans were just starting to file into their seats as we were about 20 minutes from showtime. Miz went up to a production assistant in the back.
The Miz: Hit my music.
PA: Mike, it's not on the schedule.
The Miz: Please.
The production assistant looked over Miz' head to see Wes Ikeda who was sitting on a large speaker with a hat on backwards.
Wes Ikeda: Make time- it's Mike for god sakes.
The PA nodded. Wes and Miz made eye contact and Wes smirked and gave the PA a knowing thumbs up. The camera cut to the arena- and after a couple of beats- the place erupted when they heard.
AWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I CAME TO PLAY!
Michael Cole, Riddle, and Mickie all exploded through the curtain. They in unison cocked their heads to the curtain- and in walked The Miz- which caused the arenas decibel levels to reach new heights. The group confidently made their way down the ramp and into the ring. All 3 males of the group received microphones. A "Miz is Awesome" chant broke out so loud as Miz put the mic to his lips, that he had to wait several beats before he could speak. Finally, it died down long enough for him to deliver his remarks.
The Miz: In a couple of hours, I'm going to attempt to do something.. REMARKABLE.
The crowd started cheering again.
The Miz: Hear me out. You see if you listen to Roman Reigns, and you've experienced anything that he's done so far. Which let's face it all of you have.. and I'm really sorry about that. You'll all understand that he is unbeatable. You'll understand that he's unbeatable- that he's destined to be the World Champion.. and that the rest of us are going to be nothing but subjects to his...
The Miz cleared his throat.
The Miz: Reign of Terror.
Beat.
Bro Awesome was clearly trying to hold in laughter as a group. The Miz regained his composure and began to speak again after the pop died down, continuing in his facetious tone.
The Miz: So you can understand why a victory over someone SO SPECTACULAR would be truly a remarkable accomplishment. I mean forget the fact that I've beaten every EBWF legend that's ever walked through the door. This is ROMAN REIGNS. This is the TRIBAL CHIEF.. this is THE GOAT.. this is the man that all of you either have acknowledged or my god.. you better acknowledge soon! This is SUPERMAN. This is a man that despite everything I've accomplished, despite everything I've been to this business- is still going on and on and on about how I shouldn't even be in this match- how there's other people who deserve to be in it more than I do. Roman your lack of respect.. how do you think it makes me feel?
The Miz pretended to tear up.
Michael Cole: Devastated bro.
Riddle: Shattered.
Michael Cole: OAR bro.
Riddle nodded and gave Cole a fist bump.
The Miz: It breaks me up inside to know that all my work to impress you over the years has been for nothing. Roman, all I've ever wanted to do is make you believe that I was good. All I ever have worked towards doing is being so successful that maybe some of your STATUS would "acknowledge me." It is clear that I've failed. All the time you weren't here and I was running the EBWF, I had heard stories about you. I had heard just how incredible you were- and I thought to myself- if I could just train really hard- maybe a guy who isn't even an employee of the best company in the world- would hear about me- and think I was worthy of a match with him. So then when you got here.. and you started you know winning matches.. and then like you know talking about how good you were.. I was all like.. "DUH.. you're Roman Reigns."
The Miz again tried to stop himself from laughing, but carried on.
The Miz: I don't think it's any secret that you don't have to tell us how good you are.. I mean you do anyway.. but like it's SO clear and obvious. I mean you do that one thing.. like you jump up and punch guys.. man oh man is that great.
Riddle: It's great bro.
Cole: Cooler than Cool, bro.
Riddle: Ice Cold Bro.
The Miz: So when I won the EBWF Championship again from Xavier Woods- I just knew that I was destined to face you. I was like excited.. but also nervous.. since you know you're the head of the table.
Riddle: Pass the potatoes bro.
Cole shook his head no at Riddle.
RIddle: What I'm hungry?
The Miz: So I tossed and turned ALL night. I couldn't settle my brain down, especially when I threw you the opportunity to pick ANY style of match you wanted.. and you went with...... Regular Match.
Riddle: No stips bro.
Cole: Doesn't need em bro.
The Miz: Regular match.. it's genius.. the people will be psyched.. you're just so so smart. Why have us have an I quit match.. or Last Man Standing.. or Hell in a Cell.. when they could see.. and we could have a REGULAR MATCH instead? So I was excited, nervous, but excited. However, then something occurred that led to me falling into a deep and peaceful sleep. Something occurred that has me in my current state of mind now. A thought crossed my mind, that calmed me down instantly. Do you want to know what that thought was Roman?
There was a beat. The Miz' facetious tone quickly turned serious.
The Miz: I'm the FREAKING MIZ.. and you're a god damn NOBODY.
The crowd erupted as The Miz confidently smirked and began pacing the ring.
The Miz: I'm the EBWF Champion.. you're the guy who talks about being the EBWF Champion.. I'm the guy who carries this company year in and year out.. you're the guy that claims that he could carry this company. I'm the guy who captivates, who entertains, who shows up- DAY AFTER DAY- WEEK AFTER WEEK- YEAR AFTER YEAR- and puts asses in the seats.. you're the guy who demands respect from those same asses in the seats- yet FORGETS to do ANYTHING to deserve it! Roman I said yesterday that if you could get a win vs. me, it would be the biggest of your life. However, the difference between you and I.. is that WHEN I get a win vs. you.. it won't even scratch the surface for me as far as big wins go. I have been on bigger stages, against FAR superior opponents. You may be trying to manifest your success with your words.. but I've already HAD the success that you're trying to speak into existence for yourself. So when you show up here tonight- and you step into this ring.. you're not going to see Xavier Woods.. you're not going to see Edge.. you're going to see me.. which means you're going to see the guy that you have never, will never, and COULD NEVER beat. I wonder what you'll say then? I wonder what extra self proclaimed but completely false nickname you'll try to make a thing then?
Michael Cole: Stop trying to make Fetch happen bro.
Riddle smirked. Miz brought it home.
The Miz: You know what though it's fine. I have come up with a lot of tag lines and nicknames for myself over the years too. I used to need them.. I used to lean on them like a crutch.. just like you.. to try and make myself believe them. I used to use them to try and give me the self confidence I needed to be successful. I don't need them now though, like you do Roman, I don't need any false bravado, any thing to pump me up extra. Because the one thing that I'm KNOWN AS.. that you NEVER WILL BE... is the only thing that matters. The one thing that I AM.. that you will NEVER BE...
Is EBWF Champion.
The crowd cheered and there was a beat.
The Miz:
BECAUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I'MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM THE MIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ANNNNNNNND I'MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
AWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSOMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
The crowd cheered the last line with Miz- and "I Came To Play" hit once more. The Miz, Cole, and Riddle all flipped their mics to the mat at the same time. They exited the ring with smiles on their faces. The stage was set for Reigns and Miz at Fallout. The scene faded into the start of the show.
The scene opened up inside the Bro Awesome RV. Mickie James drove, she was wearing daisy duke jean shorts and a white tanktop, looking as though she was straight out of a country music video. On the couch was Michael Cole and Matt Riddle. They wore matching Bro Awesome shirts and snap back hats on backwards. They both chewed gum with their mouth open, and popped a comedy filled simultaneous bubble. This got a laugh from The Miz who sat in the chair opposite the couch. He had the EBWF Championship over the back of the chair. He wore a designer t-shirt and black slacks. Sunglasses covered his eyes, and his hair was slicked all the way around. After a few beats, he broke the silence.
The Miz: I mean guys- what the heck did we just watch? What the heck did we just hear? I mean in so many freaking ways- I feel like I'm on drugs, ACID to be specific going into this match with Roman Reigns. Like am I hallucinating?
Riddle looked confused as to if Miz wanted an answer.
Riddle: No?
Beat.
Matt Riddle: Yes?
Beat.
Matt Riddle: I don't know bro! I mean do you see like unicorns and rainbows?
Michael Cole: Make believe bro.
The Miz smiled.
The Miz: I don't- but I'm just trying to wrap my head around- what Roman is actually seeing through his lens. I'm trying to wrap my head around the world that Roman seems to think that we exist in. Because when you listen to him speak, when we've been subjected week in and week out to hearing him rummage his 4 brain cells together to try and form thoughts, he describes an EBWF that simply put.. IS MAKE BELIEVE. I mean listening to this guy list every opponent he's ever faced, that he's ever defeated, and having him try to pass it off as trash talk- like it's something that's supposed to impress me, or better yet intimidate me- is pure comedy. I mean Matt he beat you, that's about all I can give him for credit- and I'm pretty sure that was the day where you asked me if 15 mg is high on an edible.
Riddle: Yeah I now know the answer is yes on that bro.
Michael Cole: You were on Mars bro.
Riddle: Yeah the planet with the rings bro.
Michael Cole went to correct him, but blew a gigantic bubble instead, and nodded.
The Miz: The point is, if we're doing the whole resume thing. We're going to be here for a long god damn time. Let's look at the facts of this match at Fallout. If Roman Reigns beats me, he won't, but let's all take metaphorical acid and pretend that we live in a dimension where that could happen, let's say it does happen. That would literally be the biggest win of his entire life, of his entire career. As he's proven, it would go into his ledger that he obviously keeps of every match he's ever had. He'd add it emphatically to his win column, and he would proceed to talk about it, until either he died or the audience all committed suicide from having to hear about it so much. I mean poor Xavier Woods, I beat the brakes off of him so bad that the poor guy had to take a leave of absence and is probably rocking back and forth muttering my name in a padded cell, MEANWHILE in ROMAN LAND- Reigns is still talking about wanting to face him. Roman.. ROMAN!? Are you with us- mission control to Roman- XAVIER WOODS is GONE. You can't face him. Common theme number one of Roman Reigns "SMASHED"
Michael Cole: Mario Brothers bro.
Riddle: Super Smash Bros.. what a great game.
The Miz didn't break flow.
The Miz: Then you want to talk about facing Edge? Week in and week out- over and over again- Adam Copeland has to hear his name in your mouth. Somehow you just don't seem to understand that you are completely and utterly irrelevant to anyone who's ever actually done anything in this company. Like honestly, here's my impression of Edge- who you just won't shut up about, hearing you say his name non stop. In this scene I'll be playing Edge- Riddle you be Reigns.
Riddle looked excited that he got to act.
Riddle: Uh okay- ASSES!
The Miz: Huh?
Riddle: I want to smash them- I want to smash some ASSES BRO!
The Miz tried not to laugh- he then furthered his explanation of what he was looking for out of Riddle.
The Miz: No like you be Reigns and mention Edge- I'll be Edge.
Michael Cole: Roleplay bro.
Riddle winked at the camera- and then nodded understanding.
Riddle: Hey Edge, bro, I want to fight you!
The Miz looked up acknowledging "his" name- and then began crunching loudly on a bag of Lays Potato Chips. His last bite was his loudest.
The Miz: THAT! That is how much Edge cares about you Roman. You couldn't even get him to put down a bag of Lays Potato Chips- and they aren't even all that good of a chip. So after you get done talking about matchups you'll never have, THEN, and ONLY then do you get to me. The man that has beat you around a wrestling ring to the left to the left to the right to the right, now kick, now kick, I mean my man- I've Cupid Shuffled you in the ring multiple times. Then you get to me? Really? I'm the third guy on your mind right now? REALLY? Me? The guy who threw you off a stage, the guy you can't beat, the guy who has been the face of the company that you claim to be the "HEAD" of. I'm the guy that's the bronze medalist of your thoughts right now? This is what I'm talking about- what person in their right mind, could be going up against someone who literally owns them, and not talk about everyone else but? Roman mentioned that I've tried to get out of this match- trust me bro- it's the COMPLETE opposite. I want this match more than I've wanted any match in my career. You should be thanking god for me, because I'm the first person who is worth a nickel around here that has actually given you the time of day. I'm the first person that has ever mattered in this business, that has ever given you any of my thoughts or energy. I want this match though not to prove myself to you, because honestly whether or not I matter to you is so far is so beyond low, it's comical.
Michael Cole: Apple Bottom Jeans, Boots with the fur low, bro.
The Miz: I want this match, because I want to see the look on your face- when REALITY strikes. When you realize that the nonsense that you broken record at all my Mizfits week in and week out, is the furthest thing from the truth possible. You aren't the head of any table, you aren't the chief of any tribe, you aren't the greatest of this time- or any time. You aren't smashing anyone at Fallout- and the second you realize that- it's going to be the most painful- yet hilarious moment of TV that this company has seen in quite sometime.
Riddle: It's honestly like when Buzz Lightyear realizes he's a toy, bro.
Michael Cole: To infinity and beyond bro.
The Miz thought for a second.
The Miz: Riddle you know what? You're absolutely right. Roman Reigns is the EBWF's Buzz freaking light year. He shows up thinking he's this Space Ranger- thinking that he's bigger and better than everyone else in Andy's room AKA the EBWF- but really he's just a toy.. just a toy.. like the dinosaur, like the piggy bank, like the etch a sketch. You're just like everyone else. At fallout you're going to enter the match with the false confidence that Buzz had attempting to fly off the bannister- but just like him- you won't fly- you'll fall flat on your face.
Riddle: Broken Wings bro.
Michael Cole: Mr. Mister bro.
The Miz: You'll fall flat on your face, and THAT is why I care about this match- that is why I want nothing more than this match. I want to be the one RESPONSIBLE for that fall from grace, NOT in the EBWF because in REALITY you aren't that high up around here, but the INTERNAL fall from grace, the fall from YOUR OWN grace. I want to be there, HOLDING THIS
The Miz patted his title.
The Miz: While you realize that you AREN'T WHO YOU SAY YOU ARE.. that you realize that you AREN'T WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE. I want to be there in that moment, because it's the moment that you.. and QUITE FRANKLY everyone else who tries to enjoy our show, despite your lunacy, needs so desperately.. and I'm honored.. HONORED.. to be the one who's going to be able to give them this great gift. It's not only just a gift for them though Roman, it's a gift for you. Nobody should have THIS inflated of an opinion about themselves. Nobody should be THIS off base with what is actually the truth. This is the EBWF- it's a company that just because you say you're the best in it, doesn't make it true. You have to prove it, you have to earn it, you have to ACTUALLY do something that could even put you in the conversation. I'm glad I returned to the EBWF when I did, because in a world where Xavier Woods once held this title, anything was freaking possible. With me here now Roman, not everything is possible.
Michael Cole: Sorry Kevin Garnett- but it's not, bro.
Riddle smiled as Miz continued.
The Miz: You holding this title, is now NOT possible- and that is what's best. You see even one title reign, no pun intended, for you would have been the worst thing for your detachment of what's real and what's not. One time holding this belt- could send you even further into the deep end of false ideas. I'm not going to let that happen to you Roman. You're never going to be the champion, you're never going to be the "top dog", you're never going to be anyone but the guy who came in with a gigantic ego- only to have that balloon bopped nice and loud in front of the whole world at Fallout, before he got so mad at the realization that he'd never be more than second around here, and ultimately left the company to go cry about it somewhere.
Michael Cole: Boo hoo, bro.
Matt Riddle: You mad bro?
The Miz smirked.
The Miz seemed content with his comments as he sat back in his chair, and the scene faded out. The scene faded back in backstage at Arthur Ashe Stadium in Queens New York- the site of EBWF Fallout. It was the afternoon of the show and we were outside of the backstage area. After a couple of beats a large black stretch limo pulled up. After a couple of more beats, Michael Cole, Riddle, and Mickie James-Mizanin all exited the limo. In similar get up from the first scene. Last out was The Miz. He was wearing an all black suit and had the EBWF Championship over his shoulder. There was no word spoken between any of them as they entered the arena. After several steps, Pat McAfee entered the frame- he looked excited to see Miz. He ran up to him and had his arm extended for a high five. The Miz smiled back and went to go exchange the high five with McAfee, but instead brought his arm down, causing McAfee to stumble forward. Miz made a fart noise as he brought his hand down to complete the high five snub.
Pat McAfee: What the hell bro?
The Miz and his friends continued to walk forward without once looking back. All of them held middle fingers up over their heads, as they entered their locker room. The camera followed them in there. After a couple of beats they all started laughing hysterically.
The Miz: Honestly? Like I didn't even know the guy worked here. Now he's on camera listing Roman's nicknames like some sort of fan boy? Just complete news to me that Pat McAfee is like one of Roman's best friends, can't imagine how that friendship formed up. Pat was like "I used to be a punter and I hate sleeves" and then Roman was like "everyone in the world wants to punt me in the head- and I also hate sleeves." "DID WE JUST BECOME BEST FRIENDS!"
Riddle: YUP!
The Miz: Do you want to go do karate in the garage?
Michael Cole: YUP!
The Miz smiled.
The Miz: Honestly though, one of the things I found rich was that Roman is the first person to claim that I'm afraid or that I'm insecure about my championship or this match in general. Then Pat criticizes him a little bit about going soft, he criticizes that because Roman has let his wife do a lot of his talking- and helping him with his presentation that that somehow makes him less of a man. He gets that SLIVER of criticism and what does this idiot do? He sends his wife packing, claiming that he NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN OUT OF NOWHERE, feels like he has to do it alone. I mean I feel like I could be like "you look fat in that outfit" and Roman would binge eat cupcakes and be saying "I hate you" while looking in the mirror chewing. This guy is CLEARLY the insecure one, he's clearly the one that is obsessed with what people think about him. His image is something that he's relentlessly trying to create, but does not have the mental or physical toughness to solidify it. As far as I'm concerned Galina is the only thing he has going for him, when she talks the words she says actually connect to one another, they feel like they originate in this planet, she seems like she has a good feel for the business. So there you go Roman, send away the only asset that you have, send away the only thing that isn't a complete joke when it comes to you, and now watch that joke get LOTS of laughs from my Mizfits at Fallout when I absolutely humiliate you in front of the world. Don't worry though, you can hold your head up high when it's done, because hey you might have gotten viciously beaten and embarrassed but at least you did it alone. Good for you.
The Miz, Michael Cole, and Riddle all in unison gave a sarcastic thumbs up.
The Miz: If you want to talk about soft, it's letting some jamoak a doke milkshake like Pat McAfee get into your head. It's letting someone like that change up everything you've been trying to build or do. Your INSECURITY is SOFT. Your wearing a mask to hide- that it is INFACT you who is scared.. is SOFT. You say that all I'm about is talking- but let me clue you in on a little something. My talk- comes from a place of DOMINANCE- my talk comes from Grandslam Champion status- MY TALK- comes from SEVEN.. count them.. SEVEN.. EBWF World CHAMPIONSHIPS! MY TALK.. ALWAYS ROMAN.. is followed by SWIFT, DECESIVE, UNPRECEDENTED ACTION. Your mouth moves words come out- but they're not real words are they? EVEN YOU don't believe the things you're saying to be true. You know deep down- that you've been so concerned with putting up this HEMAN front- that you forgot to put the work in to garner the skills to back it up.. and that is about the SOFTEST way ANYONE can go about trying to matter here.
Riddle: He's soft bro.
Michael Cole: There's a pill for that bro.
Mickie spit out her water as she did in a prior segment. Michael Cole is undefeated.
The Miz: Let's go.
The Miz exited first, with no questions Bro Awesome was right behind him and followed him to Gorilla. The fans were just starting to file into their seats as we were about 20 minutes from showtime. Miz went up to a production assistant in the back.
The Miz: Hit my music.
PA: Mike, it's not on the schedule.
The Miz: Please.
The production assistant looked over Miz' head to see Wes Ikeda who was sitting on a large speaker with a hat on backwards.
Wes Ikeda: Make time- it's Mike for god sakes.
The PA nodded. Wes and Miz made eye contact and Wes smirked and gave the PA a knowing thumbs up. The camera cut to the arena- and after a couple of beats- the place erupted when they heard.
AWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I CAME TO PLAY!
Michael Cole, Riddle, and Mickie all exploded through the curtain. They in unison cocked their heads to the curtain- and in walked The Miz- which caused the arenas decibel levels to reach new heights. The group confidently made their way down the ramp and into the ring. All 3 males of the group received microphones. A "Miz is Awesome" chant broke out so loud as Miz put the mic to his lips, that he had to wait several beats before he could speak. Finally, it died down long enough for him to deliver his remarks.
The Miz: In a couple of hours, I'm going to attempt to do something.. REMARKABLE.
The crowd started cheering again.
The Miz: Hear me out. You see if you listen to Roman Reigns, and you've experienced anything that he's done so far. Which let's face it all of you have.. and I'm really sorry about that. You'll all understand that he is unbeatable. You'll understand that he's unbeatable- that he's destined to be the World Champion.. and that the rest of us are going to be nothing but subjects to his...
The Miz cleared his throat.
The Miz: Reign of Terror.
Beat.
Bro Awesome was clearly trying to hold in laughter as a group. The Miz regained his composure and began to speak again after the pop died down, continuing in his facetious tone.
The Miz: So you can understand why a victory over someone SO SPECTACULAR would be truly a remarkable accomplishment. I mean forget the fact that I've beaten every EBWF legend that's ever walked through the door. This is ROMAN REIGNS. This is the TRIBAL CHIEF.. this is THE GOAT.. this is the man that all of you either have acknowledged or my god.. you better acknowledge soon! This is SUPERMAN. This is a man that despite everything I've accomplished, despite everything I've been to this business- is still going on and on and on about how I shouldn't even be in this match- how there's other people who deserve to be in it more than I do. Roman your lack of respect.. how do you think it makes me feel?
The Miz pretended to tear up.
Michael Cole: Devastated bro.
Riddle: Shattered.
Michael Cole: OAR bro.
Riddle nodded and gave Cole a fist bump.
The Miz: It breaks me up inside to know that all my work to impress you over the years has been for nothing. Roman, all I've ever wanted to do is make you believe that I was good. All I ever have worked towards doing is being so successful that maybe some of your STATUS would "acknowledge me." It is clear that I've failed. All the time you weren't here and I was running the EBWF, I had heard stories about you. I had heard just how incredible you were- and I thought to myself- if I could just train really hard- maybe a guy who isn't even an employee of the best company in the world- would hear about me- and think I was worthy of a match with him. So then when you got here.. and you started you know winning matches.. and then like you know talking about how good you were.. I was all like.. "DUH.. you're Roman Reigns."
The Miz again tried to stop himself from laughing, but carried on.
The Miz: I don't think it's any secret that you don't have to tell us how good you are.. I mean you do anyway.. but like it's SO clear and obvious. I mean you do that one thing.. like you jump up and punch guys.. man oh man is that great.
Riddle: It's great bro.
Cole: Cooler than Cool, bro.
Riddle: Ice Cold Bro.
The Miz: So when I won the EBWF Championship again from Xavier Woods- I just knew that I was destined to face you. I was like excited.. but also nervous.. since you know you're the head of the table.
Riddle: Pass the potatoes bro.
Cole shook his head no at Riddle.
RIddle: What I'm hungry?
The Miz: So I tossed and turned ALL night. I couldn't settle my brain down, especially when I threw you the opportunity to pick ANY style of match you wanted.. and you went with...... Regular Match.
Riddle: No stips bro.
Cole: Doesn't need em bro.
The Miz: Regular match.. it's genius.. the people will be psyched.. you're just so so smart. Why have us have an I quit match.. or Last Man Standing.. or Hell in a Cell.. when they could see.. and we could have a REGULAR MATCH instead? So I was excited, nervous, but excited. However, then something occurred that led to me falling into a deep and peaceful sleep. Something occurred that has me in my current state of mind now. A thought crossed my mind, that calmed me down instantly. Do you want to know what that thought was Roman?
There was a beat. The Miz' facetious tone quickly turned serious.
The Miz: I'm the FREAKING MIZ.. and you're a god damn NOBODY.
The crowd erupted as The Miz confidently smirked and began pacing the ring.
The Miz: I'm the EBWF Champion.. you're the guy who talks about being the EBWF Champion.. I'm the guy who carries this company year in and year out.. you're the guy that claims that he could carry this company. I'm the guy who captivates, who entertains, who shows up- DAY AFTER DAY- WEEK AFTER WEEK- YEAR AFTER YEAR- and puts asses in the seats.. you're the guy who demands respect from those same asses in the seats- yet FORGETS to do ANYTHING to deserve it! Roman I said yesterday that if you could get a win vs. me, it would be the biggest of your life. However, the difference between you and I.. is that WHEN I get a win vs. you.. it won't even scratch the surface for me as far as big wins go. I have been on bigger stages, against FAR superior opponents. You may be trying to manifest your success with your words.. but I've already HAD the success that you're trying to speak into existence for yourself. So when you show up here tonight- and you step into this ring.. you're not going to see Xavier Woods.. you're not going to see Edge.. you're going to see me.. which means you're going to see the guy that you have never, will never, and COULD NEVER beat. I wonder what you'll say then? I wonder what extra self proclaimed but completely false nickname you'll try to make a thing then?
Michael Cole: Stop trying to make Fetch happen bro.
Riddle smirked. Miz brought it home.
The Miz: You know what though it's fine. I have come up with a lot of tag lines and nicknames for myself over the years too. I used to need them.. I used to lean on them like a crutch.. just like you.. to try and make myself believe them. I used to use them to try and give me the self confidence I needed to be successful. I don't need them now though, like you do Roman, I don't need any false bravado, any thing to pump me up extra. Because the one thing that I'm KNOWN AS.. that you NEVER WILL BE... is the only thing that matters. The one thing that I AM.. that you will NEVER BE...
Is EBWF Champion.
The crowd cheered and there was a beat.
The Miz:
BECAUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I'MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM THE MIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ANNNNNNNND I'MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
AWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSOMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
The crowd cheered the last line with Miz- and "I Came To Play" hit once more. The Miz, Cole, and Riddle all flipped their mics to the mat at the same time. They exited the ring with smiles on their faces. The stage was set for Reigns and Miz at Fallout. The scene faded into the start of the show.