New Year, Same Champ
Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2024 11:35 pm
New Year, Same Champ
The backstage area came into focus as sound equipment and other production boxes were shown stacked up along a walk way. The crowd popped big when CM Punk turned the corner, coming into view. He wore the EBWF World Championship around his waist. Punk walked with purpose and looked down the lens as he headed to gorilla.
CM Punk: Chicago!
The camera shook lightly with the sound of the crowd stomping and cheering in the arena.
CM Punk: Let’s hit our favorite kinda carol…
Punk walked through the production area and just as he moved through the curtain the familiar riff of Cult of Personality hit and the crowd kept their energy as he walked onto the stage. He smacked the hardware around his waist, and took a knee before checking his wrist tape. He cupped his hands around his mouth.
Crowd: IT’S CLOBBERING TIME!
Punk soaked up the adoration from his hometown crowd, pacing before taking a microphone that had been conveniently laid on the stage. He picked up the microphone and eyed it thoughtfully for a long moment. Then to the delight of the crowd he sat cross legged in the middle of the stage.
CM Punk: ‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the arena
The crowd was subjected to the only man
I hate more than John Cena…
Punk gave the camera a sly “if you know, you know” look, and continued.
CM Punk: The cell was hung above the ring with care
The whole world knowing the Second City Saint soon would be there…
Punk chuckled at that as the crowd cheered him on.
CM Punk: Enough of that, but really… it is story time with Punk if you’ll indulge me.
The crowd reacted, all too happy to entertain the Champ.
CM Punk: It’s been a long road back to EBWF this year. Back to the EBWF World Championship. Back to the best damn fans in all of professional wrestling. I worked to get back here. I had to spend a lot of time figuring out if this business that I love, loves me back.
The crowd roared.
CM Punk: I was probably foolish to worry about that. If anything, I think this year has proven that I’m right back where I belong. I’m not taking a single second of it for granted. I know I have a lot more wrestling behind me than in front of me. I’m not naive about that. But the interesting thing about The Miz being the most notable feud I’ve had since my return is that it’s really been a gut check for me. I wondered…
He paused dramatically.
CM Punk: Did I sound that fucking delusional when I walked around saying I was better than everyone else? I mean, Miz, are you insane? I knew you were an arrogant bastard, but I’m starting to think that you might actually have a screw loose. There is no way, no way, absolutely no way you truly believe you’re as good as all the guys you constantly name. Even a broken clock is right twice a day, Mike. Even an asshole like you is bound to get one over on some of the best of the best on a long enough timeline. You truly believe you’re a better wrestler than AJ Styles? Than Chris Jericho?
He counted on his fingers with each name he said.
CM Punk: You think you’re better than me? I’ve been doing this since I was 15, but you’re better than me? I’ve splintered my hands on shit plywood rings in high school gyms all over the world, but you’re better than me? I trained, and got my ass kicked, by Ace Steel and Dave Taylor, by William Regal and the Inoki Dojo.
He bounced his legs uncomfortably a little bit, weighing his words, before shrugging and deciding to go with it.
CM Punk: I was professionally trained by the man who Wes Ikeda and Natalie Neidhart named their daughter after!
Punk waved to the camera.
CM Punk: Hi, Finlay!
Punk’s look grew intense again.
CM Punk: But sure, Mike, you trained for like eleven whole months at the Bill DeMott We’re All the Same Cookie Cutter Wrestler School of Wrestling, so you’re clearly better than me. See, I try really hard not to let the mindless chatter of lesser men bother me. You can say I’ve grown that way, matured. But when a guy who isn’t even worthy to lace up my boots, who created his entire gimmick on a reality TV Show, has really gone so off the rails that he believes his own bullshit… then I feel like I don’t have any choice but to shut him up.
You know the way you’ve played all of this was underhanded, but that’s your brand isn’t it? I know better than most what it means to do absolutely anything you can to remain champion, but the difference between you and me, Mike, is that I at least had some damn conviction. You don’t stand for anything. You don’t believe in anything. You went from a guy on MTV, whose entire character arc, by the way, was Midwest racist man child is forgiven by Black cast mates because turns out he’s larping as a CAW he’s trying out for some reason… you went from that to friendless, predictable, played out man child who is simply tolerated by everyone here because turns out he’s still trying to reinvent himself sometimes.
We all know what your end game is with Riddle. It’s going to be the same end game you’ve had with every victim… I mean, friend, you’ve ever had. AJ Styles… Ted DiBiase…. Alex Riley… whoever else was in The Sequel… stupid name for a stable by the way, especially one that came after the one called “The Trilogy” but what do I know, I watch the Star Wars movies in episodic order.
Punk shrugged.
CM Punk: This is a Hell in a Cell match because of who the suits want to keep out, but I don’t think you should underestimate how happy that match stipulation makes me. Because for all the people the Cell locks out, Miz, it does keep you inside. I’ll get to make you pay for all the ways you tormented me over these last few months. I’ll get to legitimize my reign as champion. And after you’re defeated, you’ll crawl back into your hidey hole like you always do. Sometime, several months from now, you’ll come back to monster face pop, the whole crowd just falling in love with their old, faithful, EBWF stalwart, The Miz… until you find some other sucker that falls for your friend con. Does that sound about right?
Punk tapped his temple, as though he was outsmarting Miz.
CM Punk: SCF versus GTS. Punk versus Miz. Animosity on top of hatred on top of mistrust. Nothing says Happy Holidays like some good ole dysfunction. When I destroy you. When I make you wish you had done things differently. When you’re stretchered out of Hell in a Cell, that will be when I’ve finally done everything I set out to do. I will walk in to the next episode of Warfare, a new year, the same champ. And then… man, won’t that be a great time to be alive on a Christmas Eve in my hometown of Chicago, or what?
The crowd popped again and “Cult of Personality” hit once more. The scene faded out as Punk moved to his feet and a CEOD video package began to play.
The backstage area came into focus as sound equipment and other production boxes were shown stacked up along a walk way. The crowd popped big when CM Punk turned the corner, coming into view. He wore the EBWF World Championship around his waist. Punk walked with purpose and looked down the lens as he headed to gorilla.
CM Punk: Chicago!
The camera shook lightly with the sound of the crowd stomping and cheering in the arena.
CM Punk: Let’s hit our favorite kinda carol…
Punk walked through the production area and just as he moved through the curtain the familiar riff of Cult of Personality hit and the crowd kept their energy as he walked onto the stage. He smacked the hardware around his waist, and took a knee before checking his wrist tape. He cupped his hands around his mouth.
Crowd: IT’S CLOBBERING TIME!
Punk soaked up the adoration from his hometown crowd, pacing before taking a microphone that had been conveniently laid on the stage. He picked up the microphone and eyed it thoughtfully for a long moment. Then to the delight of the crowd he sat cross legged in the middle of the stage.
CM Punk: ‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the arena
The crowd was subjected to the only man
I hate more than John Cena…
Punk gave the camera a sly “if you know, you know” look, and continued.
CM Punk: The cell was hung above the ring with care
The whole world knowing the Second City Saint soon would be there…
Punk chuckled at that as the crowd cheered him on.
CM Punk: Enough of that, but really… it is story time with Punk if you’ll indulge me.
The crowd reacted, all too happy to entertain the Champ.
CM Punk: It’s been a long road back to EBWF this year. Back to the EBWF World Championship. Back to the best damn fans in all of professional wrestling. I worked to get back here. I had to spend a lot of time figuring out if this business that I love, loves me back.
The crowd roared.
CM Punk: I was probably foolish to worry about that. If anything, I think this year has proven that I’m right back where I belong. I’m not taking a single second of it for granted. I know I have a lot more wrestling behind me than in front of me. I’m not naive about that. But the interesting thing about The Miz being the most notable feud I’ve had since my return is that it’s really been a gut check for me. I wondered…
He paused dramatically.
CM Punk: Did I sound that fucking delusional when I walked around saying I was better than everyone else? I mean, Miz, are you insane? I knew you were an arrogant bastard, but I’m starting to think that you might actually have a screw loose. There is no way, no way, absolutely no way you truly believe you’re as good as all the guys you constantly name. Even a broken clock is right twice a day, Mike. Even an asshole like you is bound to get one over on some of the best of the best on a long enough timeline. You truly believe you’re a better wrestler than AJ Styles? Than Chris Jericho?
He counted on his fingers with each name he said.
CM Punk: You think you’re better than me? I’ve been doing this since I was 15, but you’re better than me? I’ve splintered my hands on shit plywood rings in high school gyms all over the world, but you’re better than me? I trained, and got my ass kicked, by Ace Steel and Dave Taylor, by William Regal and the Inoki Dojo.
He bounced his legs uncomfortably a little bit, weighing his words, before shrugging and deciding to go with it.
CM Punk: I was professionally trained by the man who Wes Ikeda and Natalie Neidhart named their daughter after!
Punk waved to the camera.
CM Punk: Hi, Finlay!
Punk’s look grew intense again.
CM Punk: But sure, Mike, you trained for like eleven whole months at the Bill DeMott We’re All the Same Cookie Cutter Wrestler School of Wrestling, so you’re clearly better than me. See, I try really hard not to let the mindless chatter of lesser men bother me. You can say I’ve grown that way, matured. But when a guy who isn’t even worthy to lace up my boots, who created his entire gimmick on a reality TV Show, has really gone so off the rails that he believes his own bullshit… then I feel like I don’t have any choice but to shut him up.
You know the way you’ve played all of this was underhanded, but that’s your brand isn’t it? I know better than most what it means to do absolutely anything you can to remain champion, but the difference between you and me, Mike, is that I at least had some damn conviction. You don’t stand for anything. You don’t believe in anything. You went from a guy on MTV, whose entire character arc, by the way, was Midwest racist man child is forgiven by Black cast mates because turns out he’s larping as a CAW he’s trying out for some reason… you went from that to friendless, predictable, played out man child who is simply tolerated by everyone here because turns out he’s still trying to reinvent himself sometimes.
We all know what your end game is with Riddle. It’s going to be the same end game you’ve had with every victim… I mean, friend, you’ve ever had. AJ Styles… Ted DiBiase…. Alex Riley… whoever else was in The Sequel… stupid name for a stable by the way, especially one that came after the one called “The Trilogy” but what do I know, I watch the Star Wars movies in episodic order.
Punk shrugged.
CM Punk: This is a Hell in a Cell match because of who the suits want to keep out, but I don’t think you should underestimate how happy that match stipulation makes me. Because for all the people the Cell locks out, Miz, it does keep you inside. I’ll get to make you pay for all the ways you tormented me over these last few months. I’ll get to legitimize my reign as champion. And after you’re defeated, you’ll crawl back into your hidey hole like you always do. Sometime, several months from now, you’ll come back to monster face pop, the whole crowd just falling in love with their old, faithful, EBWF stalwart, The Miz… until you find some other sucker that falls for your friend con. Does that sound about right?
Punk tapped his temple, as though he was outsmarting Miz.
CM Punk: SCF versus GTS. Punk versus Miz. Animosity on top of hatred on top of mistrust. Nothing says Happy Holidays like some good ole dysfunction. When I destroy you. When I make you wish you had done things differently. When you’re stretchered out of Hell in a Cell, that will be when I’ve finally done everything I set out to do. I will walk in to the next episode of Warfare, a new year, the same champ. And then… man, won’t that be a great time to be alive on a Christmas Eve in my hometown of Chicago, or what?
The crowd popped again and “Cult of Personality” hit once more. The scene faded out as Punk moved to his feet and a CEOD video package began to play.