Is this 1v1 or what??
Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 12:18 pm
(The scene opens inside the now somewhat familiar house of EBWF's newest superstar, Santino Marella. A loud commotion is heard, the camera follows the noise. As we enter the room where the noise is coming from, we see Santino dressed in what can only be described as 'questionable' ring attire. He is in a pair of tiny green speedos and a small, tight white vest. He resembles something out of village people!)
Santino: Oh hello EBWF people's! You've just caught me in the middle of my super training session. I find doing a daily morning yoga session really helps my flexibility. I want to be in the greatest shape ever for my match against the big ogres! I want the world to see what I'm made of and for EBWF to make me a main eventer! That is of course where Santino belongs!
(Santino continues to stretch himself into weird and wonderful shapes, the entire time describing what he is doing. Almost trying to give the cameraman a yoga lesson)
Santino: You see flexibility is very important in the world of wrestling, in order to pull of some of the more technical moves in my arsenal, I must be in peak physical condition. That is why Batista and Tensai are so terrible at the art of wrestling! Their bodies will not allow them to get into the required shapes! The only shape Tensai can resemble is that of a big round ball!!! And Batista just looks like a doll that someone has blown up too much! I may bring a pin with me in our match, see if he pops!
(Santino begins to laugh)
Santino: I really don't know why I train so hard though, as long as I have my cobra strike, I can never be defeated!!! I've also been watching Batistas latest match! I didn't know it was meant to be a comedy, but it was truly laughable! Italy isn't known for its comedies, but I'm sure if they aired all of Batistas matches it would get many laughs! He needs to understand there is more to wrestling than simply being big! He relies to heavily on his brute force! Santino doesn't need to show off how strong he is...even though he is very strong man!
(Santino flexes both biceps, as if to back up his previous statement)
Santino: Batista, I do hope once our match is done, and the blood and tears have been washed from you're face, you will come to me for these lessons I have offered you. Do not think it is just words, for Santino will help anyone in need! And you my friend, are in serious need! All you need do is ask, and pay a small fee of course! But I give you discount!
(Santino winks into the camera. At that very moment his cellphone begins ringing. He walks over to answer it)
Santino: Hello, EBWF superstar Santino Marella speaking, how may I be helping you today? ... Ah excellent...yes...now ? Ok, thank you, I watch now!
(With a huge smile on his face, Santino ends the call and walks back over to face the camera)
Santino: That was EBWF! Finally, the fat bald man speaks! Tensai has cut a promo for our match! It is airing on TV as we speak. You wish to watch also?
(The cameraman nods his head, and with that both men sit down in front of the TV ready to watch the promo. Santino sits there with baited breath, remote in hand and a cool iced beverage to his side. Tensai looks a menacing figure on TV, there is no denying that. The man is truly large, in every sense of the word. Santino leans forward more and more, straining to hear every last word. This is the moment he has been waiting for since his match was announced. Since now he has felt...almost left out. He feels slightly disrespected by his opponents that they don't feel the need to cut promos for their match. With every word Tensai speaks, evokes a different response in Santino. Hate him or loath him, it seems a fact that Tensai can without a doubt, hold an audience. Santino let's out a laugh and turns to the cameraman)
Santino: You see that? The only way that fat bastardo can get girls to talk to him, is bribing them with cookies and slushies! It's pathetic, I would be ashamed for anyone to see behaviour like that, let alone plaster it all over TV! Where is the honour Tensai? I thought Japanese people were big on honour and respect? You have no honour Tensai!
(Santino continues to look on, now in disgust. How can a man who pretends to be so big on the Japanese culture, be so disgusting and lacking in honour? He makes a mockery of the clothes he wears the ethos he brags about. Never has a man been as fake, as Tensai. This angers Santino more than anything he could of done. Santino hates fake people)
Santino: ENOUGH! I cannot watch anymore of this muck! How can EBWF sign such a man? He makes a joke of this whole company!? He is an insult! I cannot wait for our match now, I will take great pleasure in feeding you my cobra, you fat, fake, bald bastardo! You will regret coming back from Japan! You should of stayed there! Apparently you had respect and glory there, two things which you will never achieve here! Your simply not good enough! You weren't good enough to begin with, that's why you migrated to Japan! I guess their standard is a lot lower than we have here! I'll show you my standards come Monday night! Where I make an example of you! Originally this match was just that, a match! Obviously to get a win only debut would be great, but there was no passion for this match. We were just 3 blokes put together to wrestle for the fans. But now, now there is a lot of passion! My blood boils when I hear the name Tensai! My fists clench when I hear the name Tensai! You have angered me greatly! You will feel my anger Tensai! My cobra will not be gentle! He will be swift and deadly!!!
(Santino is visibly annoyed, frustrated and angry. This is the most serious we've seen Santino since he arrived at EBWF. It is clear that he has a short temper. Whether that is a good thing or a bad, only time will tell. Yet it is clear his intentions here are vast, and he is not happy to simply sit back and be another number. He has set his sights on championship gold here at EBWF. Whether that is a pie in the sky idea or not, we will have to wait and see. But there is no denying, his passion is vast. The only question is, does he have the ability? The outcome of Monday night will go a long way to seeing whether Santino can back up his words or not)
Cameraman: So umm...are we done here Mr Marella?
Santino: Ah yes, sorry. I was how you say, world of mine?
(The cameraman smirks)
Cameraman: No sir, it's, in a world of my own.
Santino: Ah yes ok. I was in a world of my own. That crap that Tensai said has really got to me. My sweet mama always said I had a bad temper. I try to cool down.
Cameraman: It's ok. So I'll be going now ok?
Santino: No no! What about the other ogre? Batista? Has he said anything about our match? Has he even been seen?
Cameraman: I don't think so.
(Santino again turns angry)
Santino: That bastardo! How can he disrespect me like this? At least Tensai had the decency to film a promo! Even though it was full of shit! If I had a clue where Batista was hiding, I would find him and kick the living crap out of him! Why does he feel the need to hide? Come Monday night, there will be no place to hide within that ring! And if he tries any dirty tricks, I will vow to destroy him! To tear him apart limb from limb! Warfare cannot come quick enough!!!
(The scene fades to black with Santino continuing to rant to the cameraman)
Santino: Oh hello EBWF people's! You've just caught me in the middle of my super training session. I find doing a daily morning yoga session really helps my flexibility. I want to be in the greatest shape ever for my match against the big ogres! I want the world to see what I'm made of and for EBWF to make me a main eventer! That is of course where Santino belongs!
(Santino continues to stretch himself into weird and wonderful shapes, the entire time describing what he is doing. Almost trying to give the cameraman a yoga lesson)
Santino: You see flexibility is very important in the world of wrestling, in order to pull of some of the more technical moves in my arsenal, I must be in peak physical condition. That is why Batista and Tensai are so terrible at the art of wrestling! Their bodies will not allow them to get into the required shapes! The only shape Tensai can resemble is that of a big round ball!!! And Batista just looks like a doll that someone has blown up too much! I may bring a pin with me in our match, see if he pops!
(Santino begins to laugh)
Santino: I really don't know why I train so hard though, as long as I have my cobra strike, I can never be defeated!!! I've also been watching Batistas latest match! I didn't know it was meant to be a comedy, but it was truly laughable! Italy isn't known for its comedies, but I'm sure if they aired all of Batistas matches it would get many laughs! He needs to understand there is more to wrestling than simply being big! He relies to heavily on his brute force! Santino doesn't need to show off how strong he is...even though he is very strong man!
(Santino flexes both biceps, as if to back up his previous statement)
Santino: Batista, I do hope once our match is done, and the blood and tears have been washed from you're face, you will come to me for these lessons I have offered you. Do not think it is just words, for Santino will help anyone in need! And you my friend, are in serious need! All you need do is ask, and pay a small fee of course! But I give you discount!
(Santino winks into the camera. At that very moment his cellphone begins ringing. He walks over to answer it)
Santino: Hello, EBWF superstar Santino Marella speaking, how may I be helping you today? ... Ah excellent...yes...now ? Ok, thank you, I watch now!
(With a huge smile on his face, Santino ends the call and walks back over to face the camera)
Santino: That was EBWF! Finally, the fat bald man speaks! Tensai has cut a promo for our match! It is airing on TV as we speak. You wish to watch also?
(The cameraman nods his head, and with that both men sit down in front of the TV ready to watch the promo. Santino sits there with baited breath, remote in hand and a cool iced beverage to his side. Tensai looks a menacing figure on TV, there is no denying that. The man is truly large, in every sense of the word. Santino leans forward more and more, straining to hear every last word. This is the moment he has been waiting for since his match was announced. Since now he has felt...almost left out. He feels slightly disrespected by his opponents that they don't feel the need to cut promos for their match. With every word Tensai speaks, evokes a different response in Santino. Hate him or loath him, it seems a fact that Tensai can without a doubt, hold an audience. Santino let's out a laugh and turns to the cameraman)
Santino: You see that? The only way that fat bastardo can get girls to talk to him, is bribing them with cookies and slushies! It's pathetic, I would be ashamed for anyone to see behaviour like that, let alone plaster it all over TV! Where is the honour Tensai? I thought Japanese people were big on honour and respect? You have no honour Tensai!
(Santino continues to look on, now in disgust. How can a man who pretends to be so big on the Japanese culture, be so disgusting and lacking in honour? He makes a mockery of the clothes he wears the ethos he brags about. Never has a man been as fake, as Tensai. This angers Santino more than anything he could of done. Santino hates fake people)
Santino: ENOUGH! I cannot watch anymore of this muck! How can EBWF sign such a man? He makes a joke of this whole company!? He is an insult! I cannot wait for our match now, I will take great pleasure in feeding you my cobra, you fat, fake, bald bastardo! You will regret coming back from Japan! You should of stayed there! Apparently you had respect and glory there, two things which you will never achieve here! Your simply not good enough! You weren't good enough to begin with, that's why you migrated to Japan! I guess their standard is a lot lower than we have here! I'll show you my standards come Monday night! Where I make an example of you! Originally this match was just that, a match! Obviously to get a win only debut would be great, but there was no passion for this match. We were just 3 blokes put together to wrestle for the fans. But now, now there is a lot of passion! My blood boils when I hear the name Tensai! My fists clench when I hear the name Tensai! You have angered me greatly! You will feel my anger Tensai! My cobra will not be gentle! He will be swift and deadly!!!
(Santino is visibly annoyed, frustrated and angry. This is the most serious we've seen Santino since he arrived at EBWF. It is clear that he has a short temper. Whether that is a good thing or a bad, only time will tell. Yet it is clear his intentions here are vast, and he is not happy to simply sit back and be another number. He has set his sights on championship gold here at EBWF. Whether that is a pie in the sky idea or not, we will have to wait and see. But there is no denying, his passion is vast. The only question is, does he have the ability? The outcome of Monday night will go a long way to seeing whether Santino can back up his words or not)
Cameraman: So umm...are we done here Mr Marella?
Santino: Ah yes, sorry. I was how you say, world of mine?
(The cameraman smirks)
Cameraman: No sir, it's, in a world of my own.
Santino: Ah yes ok. I was in a world of my own. That crap that Tensai said has really got to me. My sweet mama always said I had a bad temper. I try to cool down.
Cameraman: It's ok. So I'll be going now ok?
Santino: No no! What about the other ogre? Batista? Has he said anything about our match? Has he even been seen?
Cameraman: I don't think so.
(Santino again turns angry)
Santino: That bastardo! How can he disrespect me like this? At least Tensai had the decency to film a promo! Even though it was full of shit! If I had a clue where Batista was hiding, I would find him and kick the living crap out of him! Why does he feel the need to hide? Come Monday night, there will be no place to hide within that ring! And if he tries any dirty tricks, I will vow to destroy him! To tear him apart limb from limb! Warfare cannot come quick enough!!!
(The scene fades to black with Santino continuing to rant to the cameraman)