A Cunning Plan

[Chloe]

The friendship between Kaitlyn and AJ Lee had become somewhat strained over the past few months. At one point they were completely inseparable as the Slammy award winning Chick Busters but after AJ's sanity went out the window they had been on separate paths. Kaitlyn found it difficult to try and have the same type of relationship with AJ as she was completely unpredictable at this point. Still, every now and then she still found traces of her little friend that gave her hope that she wasn't completely and utterly bonkers. She was even doing things that most normal people do: sitting cross legged in her locker room while reading a copy of EBWF magazine. Not chasing imaginary frogs from space while riding a Roomba or anything of that sort. Kaitlyn had donned a Ron Burgandy style mustache for the occasion in an attempt to humor AJ because mustaches are always funny, right? She stood in front of AJ, silently, until she finally looked up and audibly shuddered.

AJ Lee: Buh! ...Sorry. I saw your face.

Kaitlyn blinked very hard and slowly.

AJ Lee: It looks like their is an eyebrow in the middle of your face. It makes your mouth look like an eye socket. You look like a cyclops who's eye fell out.

Kaitlyn: OKAAAAAY.

Kaitlyn peeled the mustache off and took a deep breath. Patience. Understanding.

Kaitlyn: WELL, I thought maybe we should discuss, you know, that tag team match we have this week.

AJ Lee: Against the Minnesota Homecoming Committee or whatever?

Kaitlyn: Ah, I think it's a little different than that but close enough. I don't know really know...anything about them. I know one of them held a guy's title for an what seems like an unreasonable amount of time so that seems like something we should really prepare for.

AJ slowly leaned forward from her sitting position.

AJ Lee: Kaitlyn, what do you do in the ring that you do better than anything else?

Kaitlyn: ...Spear...people?

AJ Lee: Yes. You do that. I'll do what I do.

Kaitlyn: Oh, that weird, twisty, hold thing? The Octopus?

AJ Lee: It's called "The Black Widow" now and there is a t-shirt for it but, yes, that.

Kaitlyn: Wait. What? You have a t-shirt?

AJ held the magazine outwards and spread open a page that displayed an add for the t-shirt she had just described.

AJ Lee: Now available on EBWFShop.com. Which is why we will win. Because the Minnesota Viking's don't have their own t-shirt.

Kaitlyn: I...I want my own t-shirt. And your logic is flawless.

AJ Lee: Isn't it?

AJ smiled in a very perky manner as she didn't pick up on the sarcasm.

AJ Lee: But don't worry. I won't let it go to my head. I'm not one of those crazy girls.

Kaitlyn: ...

AJ's eyes slowly began to focus into a glare.

AJ Lee: Your lack of acknowledgement towards that comment is disturbing me. You DO think I'm crazy, don't you? Why are you insulting me?! I didn't even do anything to you! I'm SO SORRY they gave me a t-shirt! That's no reason to hurt me! ...Everyone...tries...to hurt me...why...does...everyone...try...to...hurt...me...

AJ's head tilted sideways and one of her eyes gave a noticeable twitch. Kaitlyn held up her palms in innocence.

Kaitlyn: I didn't say ANYTHING!

In the blink of an eye AJ had turned completely upbeat and positive again.

AJ Lee: Oh. Neat-o!

Kaitlyn took another deep breath.

Kaitlyn: So we should probably try and find out a little more about Rain and Lacey.

AJ Lee: We should go undercover.

The pint-sized diva's voice dropped to a whisper. Kaitlyn was more than a little weary about following any kind of plan that just instantly popped into AJ's head.

Kaitlyn: Oooh, I don't know if that's--

AJ Lee: Yes! It's a perfect plan! I'm going to go get my outfit and you do the same! Make sure no one will know it's you!

Kaitlyn wasn't given a moment to protest as AJ had already sped off. She released a huge sigh with her shoulders slumping.

***

When the pair reconvened in a hallway, Kaitlyn was wearing a pair of large, dark sunglasses, a thick, long coat over her body and her hair was hidden and tied up underneath a wide brimmed hat. She wasn't really sure what kind of disguise she was supposed to whip up on such a spur of the moment.

Kaitlyn:...Oh...my god.

AJ rounded the corner wearing an outfit that only a crazy person would consider a good disguise. She was dressed in a brown colored puppy costume, with a black colored stomach and floppy ears. A black circle was painted on her nose and a red plush collar, attached to the neck of the costume, along with a golden colored bone of the same material hanging from it.

AJ Lee: I KNOW, right? No one will suspect a thing!

Kaitlyn: I...really don't think--

AJ Lee: So we're going to go to Minnesota, right? Because I'm assuming that's where they must be from! So we go to Minnesota and we find their parents, right? We find their parents and we ask them EVERYTHING there is to know about Lacey and Rain. If they don't feel like talking we tie them to a rocket, because I built one, and we threaten to shoot them STRAIGHT TO--

Kaitlyn: OK, OK, wait a second here! Time out! This is NOT happening!

AJ's face began to contort and her lips curled up. It took a few moments but she became thoughtful and lucid.

AJ Lee: You're right. You are absolutely right.

Kaitlyn: ...Thank you.

AJ Lee: BROCK LESNAR.

Kaitlyn: Uhm?

AJ Lee: Brock Lesnar! He's also from Minnesota! Probably the most important person to ever come out of Minnesota! He can be a really big help!

Kaitlyn: Brock..Lesnar?

AJ Lee: Well, I mean, Michael McGillicutty is also from Minnesota but I doubt he would be much help, Kaitlyn! Think!

Kaitlyn: AJ. Listen to me. I'm not going all the way to Minnesota with you to find Brock Lesnar while you're dressed like a puppy.

AJ Lee: A PUPPY?!

AJ tugged on the outfit with an absolutely bewildered look on her face.

AJ Lee: ...Kaitlyn? Are you feeling OK? Because I'm obviously not dressed like a puppy. I'm the PRESIDENT. A one hundred percent accurate portrayal of the President. You REALLY need to get your head into the game.

Kaitlyn very slowly drug a hand along her chin.

AJ Lee: Alright. No big deal. I have got this all taken care of. I KNOW Brock. I'll have him come down here and he'll tell us what we want to know. I'm going to get him to come down to the ring, F-5 Lacey or Rain or both, and everything's peachy keen.

Kaitlyn: But you don't know him!

AJ Lee: Yes! I do!

AJ hopped up onto a crate, sitting on it, swinging her legs lightly while her hands folded into her lap. She just smiled off into space.

Kaitlyn: ...Right. Well, I guess I'll just see you and Brock out at the ring.

Fearing a massive headache, Kaitlyn walked away while rubbing one of her temples. AJ looked about before reaching into her costume. She plucked out a Brock Lesnar action figure and stood it up beside her.

AJ Lee: Brock?! What happened?! Did you fail a wellness test or something?! How are you going to help us now?! I just told Kaitlyn you had our back!

AJ proceeded to bite the action figure's head off and spit it out. Her hands came to a rest under her chin as she pouted and frowned. She was going to have to come up with a new plan to ensure victory.

[Ashlee]

AJ Lee: BROCK LESNAR.

Kaitlyn: Uhm?

AJ Lee: Brock Lesnar! He's also from Minnesota! Probably the most important person to ever come out of Minnesota! He can be a really big help!

Kaitlyn: Brock..Lesnar?

AJ Lee: Well, I mean, Michael McGillicutty is also from Minnesota but I doubt he would be much help, Kaitlyn! Think!

Kaitlyn: AJ. Listen to me. I'm not going all the way to Minnesota with you to find Brock Lesnar while you're dressed like a puppy.

AJ Lee: A PUPPY?!

AJ tugged on the outfit with an absolutely bewildered look on her face.

AJ Lee: ...Kaitlyn? Are you feeling OK? Because I'm obviously not dressed like a puppy. I'm the PRESIDENT. A one hundred percent accurate portrayal of the President. You REALLY need to get your head into the game.

Kaitlyn very slowly drug a hand along her chin.

AJ Lee: Alright. No big deal. I have got this all taken care of. I KNOW Brock. I'll have him come down here and he'll tell us what we want to know. I'm going to get him to come down to the ring, F-5 Lacey or Rain or both, and everything's peachy keen.

Kaitlyn: But you don't know him!

AJ Lee: Yes! I do!

Oh my God I'm LOLing so hard it hurts. It hurts Chloe. LOL

[Benjamin]

Yes, it's a damn shame no one else of interest comes from Minnesota!

[Jon]

Shelton Benjamin? lol

[Benjamin]

You got the Benjamin part right.

[Jon]

You got the Benjamin part right.

As Sheldon Cooper would say Bazinga.